Page 27 of Damaged & Deadly
Trying to figure out what it is, my eyes drift back to Sawyer’s face. She just watches me as if she can see my brain working, and she’s giving me the time to figure this out. We lie facing each other on our sides in silence while I study her before shifting my attention to Lor. As I take in the only two people in the world that I care about, knowing they are both safe, unharmed, and here with me, I realize what this… feeling… is.
Comfort.
Contentment.
Peace.
Tranquility.
I might even go so far as to say happiness. Or as close to it as I’ll ever get.
As if she can see the dawning of understanding written on my face, she smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing. Pride glitters in her eyes, and that warmth within me swells.
“Morning,” she murmurs softly, keeping her voice quiet so she doesn’t wake Lor.
“Morning.” I don’t know what I’m supposed to say in this situation, so I fall back on my usual tactics of silence, letting her take the reins.
“I have to go to the clubhouse today,” she says, making me frown as I once again debate the merit of locking her up and throwing away the key. Sensing my inner turmoil, she reaches out and strokes her fingertips down the side of my face and over my morning stubble. “But I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Tomorrow?Tomorrow?!
“We should go out tomorrow night. Just us.” Her words manage to penetrate through the red mist, pulling me back from the edge. “I want you to meet Sawyer.” She must see my blank look as she explains, “You’ve only known the girl I was pretending to be at the club and the girl who has been locked up in this house. You don’t know the real me. You might find you don’t even like me.”
There’s a rare vulnerability in her voice, and she darts her gaze away. Not liking it, I cup her chin, drawing her attention back to me. I already know everything I need to know about her. There’s nothing she could say or do that would change my mind. The unforeseen introduction of her fucking boyfriends proved that.
“If that’s what you want to do, then that’s what we will do.”
“It is.” It takes me a second to put a name to the look in her eye. It’s not one I’ve seen on her before and it’s not one I’m familiar with myself. She’s nervous. Does she genuinely think I won’t like her?
Clearing her throat, she changes the subject. “So… you’re on board.”
Even though it’s not a question, I answer her anyway. “We are.”
“Are you sure? There’s no turning back once we start down this path.”
With my hand still on her face, I shuffle toward her until I can feel her soft curves and the heat of her body seeping into mine. “You are my wife.” They are the exact words I said before we went to my father’s the other day. Where there was only shock in her eyes last time I said them, today, her brows furrow in skepticism.
“You don’t even know me.”
Again with this shit. “I know enough,” I growl angrily, pressing my fingertips into her cheek.
“You just found out yesterday that I will never be solely yours.”
“And yet here you are, in bed withme.”
She’s still frowning. “You could be playing me so you can spill everything to your father.”
Releasing her from my grip, I grab her hand in mine. Straightening her index finger, I maneuver her arm until she can feel the puckered edges of the circular scar sitting just beneath my armpit. Her brow furrows as she runs her finger around the edge before seeking out the two raised dots in the middle. “Cattle prod.”
Her lips part as she gapes at me, her finger still circling the scarred skin. “Why?”
“For feeling. For caring. For letting him see it.”
She bites her lower lip as tears well in her eyes.
Lifting her hand again, I move it to the long, thin scar that runs low across my hip. “Punishment,” I say by way of explanation, already directing her hand toward my head so she can feel the small one hidden beneath my hair. “Consequence of pissing him off.”
Speechless, she gapes at me for a long moment before finding her words. “Why do you do his bidding? Why let him control you?”