Page 45 of Chaos & Carnage
“He’ll know we’re coming for him,” Dante points out.
“Which is why we need to move quickly.”
“You’re in no state to go anywhere with that ankle!” I snap at Cain, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. “You could barely get down the stairs. How the hell do you suppose you’re going to storm Giovanni’s apartment or wherever we end up facing him?”
Cain waves away my concerns with a far too flippant hand motion for my liking. “I’ll be fine in a day or two. I’ll stay off my feet while we get organized.”
I shake my head, not the least bit satisfied with that answer.
We’re weak. Not just Cain, but the Rejects. We’ve lost good men, and now Marcus, Tank, and Cain are out of commission. It leaves me feeling uneasy, and for the first time since I got all four of them on board, I’m scared. Scared that we might not be able to win this. Scared of losing any more people, and most of all, scared of losing one of my guys. If last night taught me anything, it’s that I won’t survive losinganyof them.
I’m not the same woman I was when I ran into Oliver in Toxic. All four of these men have wormed their way beneath the surface of my skin. They’ve infiltrated my bloodstream and embedded themselves so deep that they’ve become an essential part of who I am. Without one of them, I’m no longer me. No longer able to function. I’d become a shell of who I am. I’d lose myself wholeheartedly to the Reaper.
Perhaps, once upon a time, I wouldn’t have seen that as such a bad thing, but I know better now. Unable to feel is no way to go through life. Dante is living proof of that. Without the ability to feel, we eventually lose our humanity. We succumb to our inner demons, giving in to our base desires until we’re so far gone it would take a miracle to pull us back into the light. Oliver, Cain, Dante, and Enzo aremymiracle. Without any of them, I’d be lost to the darkness forever.
While I’ve been internally freaking out, I realize the conversation has continued around me, and I zone back in as Dante suggests, “I could try reaching out again to some of the men loyal to me.”
“Can you trust them?”
Dante takes a second to think over Cain’s question. “It’s possible that my father has gotten to them, but there are a couple I’d trust enough to see if they can at least get the information we need.”
“What information?” I question, glancing back and forth between Dante and Cain as I realize I missed something vital.
“We need to know Giovanni’s movements,” Enzo explains. “He’s not going to make himself an easy target. The only shot we have is if we can find out where he’s going to be ahead of time, then pick the best place to confront him.”
“How do you know you can trust your men?” I ask, focusing on Dante.
“I don’t, but it’s a risk we will have to take if we want any shot at my father.”
Fuck, I seriously don’t like this.
“Reach out to your contact,” Cain states. “Once they give us the information we need, we’ll keep them under lock and key until Giovanni is taken out. In the meantime, I need to go see Marcus and Tank and check in with the rest of the club.”
“Absolutely not!” I interject. “You just said you were going to stay off your feet.”
“Yeah, but I need to check on my men.”
“You’ve already been on the phone with Bones and the guys at the clubhouse,” I argue. “You don’t also need to go see them. They know you’re busy finding a solution to this mess.”
“I can go—”
Before Oliver even finishes that sentence, I’m cutting him off. “No. The five of us are spending the rest of the day here, pretending the world’s problems aren’t battering at the door.”
“Red, baby, it doesn’t do us any good to bury our heads in the sand and pretend none of this is happening,” Cain soothes, his features softening.
“I know. That’s not what I’m trying to do,” I sigh dejectedly. “I just want one day where we aren’t being crushed beneath the weight of it all.” Focusing my attention on Cain, I say, “Marcus is probably doped up on meds. He won’t even know you are there, and the kids are at the hospital, so they will keep an eye on him. Same for Tank, and the men at the clubhouse are busy filling in bullet holes and securing the premises. Leave them to it.Youneed a day to recuperate so you can clear your mind and go in fresh. All of us need you on your A-game, and that won’t be the case if you keep pushing yourself so hard.”
Switching my attention to Dante, I continue, “It’ll take a while to hear back from your contact, right?”
“Probably.”
“Right.” Nodding my head, decision made, I state with finality, “That decides it, then. We’re having a Netflix and chill day today, and we’ll get back to saving Black Creek tomorrow.”
“Eh…” Dante’s brow is furrowed in confusion. “What isNetflix and chill?”
Okay, if I hadn’t already put my foot down, Dante’s lack of current pop culture without a doubt makes the decision an easy one.
“It’s code for a fuck session.”