Page 86 of The Merciless Ones

All that horror, all that fear – it was part of what kept them alive, kept them plotting against us all this while.

“You’re the ones responsible for all this!” I shout, furious. “The Ritual of Purity, the Death Mandate – everything that’s happened, all the blood, the pain! You’re the reason I was tortured, killed over and over again! You’re the reason all my friends suffered, all the Oteran women continue to suffer. It was always you!”

“No, it was the Gilded Ones!” the gods roar back. “They’re the ones who imprisoned us! We had to find a way to survive, even if it was to create a guise through which we could feed!”

“But you did so at the alaki’s expense!” I’m so enraged now, all the veins in my neck stand out as I shout: “You call us your children, and yet you fed on us – are still feeding on us, still using our bodies as your playgrounds! If you claim to be our fathers – our progenitors – then explain those alaki chained on platforms across Hemaira, explain all the girls imprisoned in temples, in cells, all waiting so you can gorge yourselves on their blood.”

When no reply emerges, I glare up at them. “You can’t answer, can you? Can’t justify what you’ve been doing. You can’t even come out from behind the veil and—”

I stop, blink – realize.

The entire time we’ve been speaking, the Idugu haven’t moved an inch. Not even their fingers have twitched. In fact, the only thing that’s rippled behind the gold is their mouths. It’s almost as if they don’t have enough power to move anything else. Now, I’m remembering – when they brought us here from the temple in the Northern provinces, they jerked us from one location to the next as if they didn’t have enough power to sustain the door. And that’s not all. They’ve only ever appeared in places where their worshippers already were – where sacrifices were being given in their name: the Oyomosin, Zhúshan, that alley. In every single one of those places, someone had to die or be tortured, as Melanis was, for the Idugu to appear.

It doesn’t make sense. If the Idugu were being worshipped as Oyomo all this time, they should have double – no, triple – the power of the Gilded Ones. And yet, they can’t even move from their perches and are still hiding behind a false name so as not to openly attract the attention and ire of their counterparts.

Why?

An image of an indolo flashes before my eyes. What happens to one happens to the other…

And finally I understand.

I laugh and laugh and laugh, giving in to the bitterness bubbling up inside me. “You’re still imprisoned, aren’t you?” When the Idugu don’t reply – as I expected – I press on. “You created Oyomo and made the jatu believe in him – even manipulated them so they imprisoned the mothers. But it all backfired, didn’t it? Because you were still connected. Still one being, even though you had separate bodies now. When they imprisoned the mothers, your bodies became like this. Only you didn’t have a Nuru to free you. For all your schemes, you hadn’t thought that far, and I, for one, refuse to free you.”

There’s a tense silence. Burnt yellows, oranges of exasperation, flash out of the corner of my eyes. I can almost imagine the Idugu’s fury, boiling underneath them like a dormant volcano.

“Well?” I prompt.

A sigh whispers through the room. “A regrettable error,” the gods finally acknowledge. “But we will rectify it soon enough. We will sever our connection and destroy our other selves once and for all.”

“How?” I scoff. “You can’t do anything to the mothers without also doing it to yourselves.”

“But you can…” The sly whisper tilts my world on its axis.

Suddenly, it’s all I can do to remain standing. What they’re suggesting – killing the mothers – I can’t even comprehend it. But they sound so certain. So definite. This is what they want from me, the true reason they brought me here. They really believe I can kill the mothers.

“I was created to free the Gilded Ones,” I say quietly. “No matter what passes between us, I am their daughter. Not both of yours, like the alaki and jatu.”

Another pause from the Idugu.

The reply, when it finally comes, is an amused chuckle. “Is that what they told you?” Heat rushes up my neck as they continue: “Did you think they were the ones who created you? That you were truly their daughter? Lies, all lies. Allow us to show you truth.”

A gold-covered hand abruptly reaches towards me, so enormous, it covers my entire body. One touch, and then I’m falling – a golden tear, hurtling down towards a sea of blue. The entire world seems to exult in my arrival. Pinks and golds of exhilaration paint the sky. A rainbow smiles over the water below, which makes sense. This is exactly how the mothers told me I was born. I’m a golden tear that fell from their eyes – their last, desperate attempt to ensure that they weren’t imprisoned for eternity. But when I peer closer, the tear I’m watching isn’t hurtling from the mothers’ eyes, as I was always told it did; instead, it’s hurtling from—

I wrench myself away from the memory, horrified. The Idugu are trying to manipulate me again, only this time, they’re showing me false memories of my birth. “No!” I shout. “I refuse to see anything you show me! I refuse to be your tool of revenge.”

There are other ways to find the truth. I have their blood on my palm now. I can always store it away, search it later, and see what really happened instead of believing the memories they’re trying to push into my head.

“I’m leaving this place,” I shout. “I’m leaving now, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“You do not believe our words, do you, Deka?” The reply comes as a low, sleepy sigh. The Idugu’s presences are already diminishing. They’re going back to sleep, the same way the mothers do when they’re exhausted. “Then believe your own power, see with your own eyes,” they say, a golden hand suddenly reaching for me once more.

I gasp awake the moment it touches me.

When I rise, the chamber is bright around me, unsettlingly so. All the braziers are aflame, the darkness that shadowed them gone. Was I truly asleep all this time – even after that first time I thought I woke? Did I dream everything I just saw?

“Yer awake, thank the mothers.” Britta’s voice is just next to my ear. I gasp, startled, to see her and Keita standing behind me, Ixa at their side. They all seem relieved – very, very relieved. Just how much time has passed?

“Are ye all right, Deka?” Britta looks me over, her eyes filled with concern. “It’s been over an hour. Did ye get the answer ye needed? We’ve been so worried. We need to leave this place. Everything here just feels wrong.”