Page 1 of Shiver Me Timbers
CHAPTER1
ALICE
“Why are you smiling like that?”Chantelle slides down the bar of the pub we work in, her side pressing into mine as she tries to get a peek at my phone’s screen.
But I am quick with my thumb and lock it before she can read any of our messages.
“He makes me laugh.”
It’s a cheap answer. My face isn’t flushed because he’s telling a joke. He just gave a detailed description of what he’d like to do to me.
Joseph:We better not go near any bathrooms on the way to the wedding. I’ll want to sit you on the sink, spread your legs, and eat you for appetiser. I’ll make you walk into the wedding on shaky legs and cum sticking your thighs together. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Missy?
I would. I want him to do every dirty thing he’s said, and then I want him to do it all over again. This man is downright irresistible. Whatever he wants to do with my body, he has free reign because I can’t imagine not enjoying anything he does with his hands, or mouth, or…
We don’t just talk about sex. As holidates, it’s only supposed to be casual, but during the few months we have been talking, I’ve gotten to know him better than I even know some of my friends. I’ve been counting down the days until we meet, never having spoken to a man before who can make me laugh so hard one minute and be breathless with sexual need the next.
He’s become my biggest problem—I can’t imagine going a day without talking to him. He’s become an addiction, and it doesn’t matter how many times I remind myself he’s a holidate and not my actual boyfriend. I’m still hanging onto my phone like it’s a lifeline.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Chantelle wraps her arm around me, and I look up to find her studying me, concerned by my worried expression. “You can’t see your face when you’re looking at his messages…You’re really happy.” She gives me a small smile. “I’m dying to meet this guy.”
She says it positively, but it makes me shrink under her arm. I can’t wait to meet this guy, too, but I have a feeling this weekend is going to leave me broken, when my heart realises he’s not the white knight I have dreamed up in my head.
“I really like him,” I admit, ashamed. No, I shouldn’t have been so stupid to fall for someone over the internet. Needing to feel like I’m doing something, I grab the notepad off the bar and crouch to start taking stock of the fridges.
“Well, that’s not hard to see, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find that he knows it too.” Chantelle’s gentle words still make me flinch. “But the fact he hasn’t run is a very good sign. You’re not good at hiding your emotions. You never have been.” She pauses, turning me towards her. “It’s what makes you a terrible liar. But it’s not a bad thing.” Chantelle shakes her head slightly as if trying to refresh her mind. “I digress. If he didn’t like you back, he would have probably run for the hills by now.”
“Do you think?” My heart stutters with hope at the idea.
“Nothing makes a man flee in a blind panic like a woman mentioning or expressing feelings.”
She has a point. I can’t count on two hands how many guys have fled at the idea we could actually turn into something more than casual dating or fucking. Say the wordrelationshipto a man, you can see the pain on his face when his balls try to jump back up inside his body.
I was never raised to be the sensitive type, and with the friends I made in school, being tough was a necessity, but since I met Joseph, I feel like all my walls have come crumbling down, and I don’t have a clue how to rebuild them.
“So, do you think I should pretend I don’t like him as much?” I stop trying to take stock of the fridge and collapse on the floor, ignoring how my jeans stick to the stale beer spills.
“Bloody hell, who’s got the energy for that?” She cocks her hip against the counter, looking down at me with so much sympathy in her eyes, I hide my face behind my hands. “You especially, luvie, wouldn’t be able to handle that.”
Chantelle is younger than me by two years, but she’s built differently when it comes to dating. She doesn’t care who she hooks up with and doesn’t catch feelings, is adamant that she won’t waste feelings on someone who isn’t worth the moon and stars.
Obviously, I need to be less like me and more like her.
I contemplate her words, trying to come back with a reason, a reason why I can do it, but come up empty-headed. There’s no way I’ll manage that—my heart is on my sleeve.
“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” Chantelle says softly, swatting my hands away from my face. “I’m just praying, for his sake, he doesn’t fuck you about because Tony will have something to say about that.”
Oh Lord, give me strength.If Tony found out Joseph hurt me…there isn’t a gutter he could hide in. Tony would hunt him down and serve him an arse beating he’d never forget.
“Nothing would stop him,” I agree with a heavy sigh.
It’s the reason I’ve had to keep so many things from Tony. His answer to everything is to use violence, but that’s to be expected, being brought up by a gang. Tony was raised to act like the most powerful person in the room because, one day, he would be. He is gaffer to Hasting’s Hounds—a gang that has gotten so powerful over the decades, he has everyone in his pocket. Police, judges, you name it. He can get anything done.
I suppose I’m lucky. Since the age of six, he’s been my best friend. Tony’s looked after me since the moment he found bullies beating me up behind the school dust bins. No one ever touched me after that.
“Are my ears burning?” Footsteps sound on the creaking old staircase leading to the apartment above the pub. “Are you still talking about that prick you’re bringing to the wedding? The holidate?” Tony appears in the doorway, an empty pint glass in his hand and a cigarette hanging off his lip.
“Stop smoking down here!” I lurch to my feet and pluck it from his mouth. He doesn’t try to stop me as I pass him to smoke it outside in the darkening night of the mini courtyard out back. “You’ll make it stink, and people will complain.”