Page 22 of Codename: Dustoff
CHAPTERTWELVE
It made no sense. One minute we were all smiles and giggles, then we were heated kisses which were unexpected but in the best way. And now, Finn stood in my guest room grabbing Amelia’s things.
“She’s embarrassed that’s all,” Finn said, gathering the newly purchased clothing that she’d been considering before leaving for the tree lighting. “Something happened—like a flashback or something—and she panicked. I’m sure once she calms down, she’ll call you.”
Finn and I had been friends for a really long time. So long in fact, we may as well have been brothers. Of all the things that had happened in our lives, losing our dads, his mom running off to god knows where never to be heard from again, me not having one, girls in high school, women as we’d moved through our twenties, me losing my arm. Through all of it, I’d never seen pity in his eyes.
Concern? Sure. A protective streak that sometimes felt like he was babysitting me? Probably more times than I cared for. But pity? That was something Finn had never done. Except right now. It wasn’t even the jutted lip that looked like a frown. It was his fucking overly empathetic eyes I couldn’t look at. They said plenty. Like “sorry bro I know I made you step out of your comfort zone and told you to swing for the trees with a girl and now you struck out in the most glorious way.”
“It doesn’t make any sense, Finn.”
“Post-traumatic stress doesn’t make sense, Stubs. It takes your reality, crumbles it in his hand, gives you the finger, and then slingshots you into an alternate reality.”
“She had a really bad nightmare last night,” I tell him.
“I’ll let Gem know to keep an ear out.”
“Just tell her I’m sorry.”
Finn nodded at me before pushing into my screen door and heading towards his truck.
Me: I’m sorry.
I texted that night while I lay in the bed we’d shared the night before. After Finn left I’d just sat here, trying to figure out where things went wrong. Tried replaying the whole evening to find where the landmine had been.
Me: I’m here, whenever you want to talk
I stared at the screen for an eternity willing those stupid response dots to appear, they never did.
* * *
“You’ve been moping around here for two days.” Gemini looked up from our planning binders. “Just call her.”
“She is the one that freaked out, Gem. Shouldn’t I give herthe space to sort through whatever she’s going through?”
Our holiday dinner was in less than three days, and I didn’t feel any kind of holly or jolly—in fact I wished the holidays were already over.
“She must think I did something wrong. Otherwise, why wouldn’t she call? I bet she’s upset with me for some reason. I shouldn’t have suggested we go inside. I moved too fast. We don’t even know each other that well.”
Gemini wiped her hands on a towel and threw it on the counter before coming around the counter and squaring my shoulders so I was forced to look at her.
“When Finn and I got into a fight on Saturday—what did you tell him?”
I hadn’t realized Finn would have told her about our conversation. The revelation surprised me in the best way. Knowing that he was as head over heels for her and she was for him settled me—it was a weird comfort knowing that he would always have her by his side.
“I told him to stop being an asshole with his head up his ass.”
That pulled a full-fledged guffaw from her.
“Don’t pull any punches, Emmett.” She continued to giggle. “I mean you told him that he needed to talk to me to know what I was thinking, right? That you couldn’t act as an advisor into my insight because you weren’t me. Right?”
“I hate when you’re right you know.”
She laughed and pulled me into a hug. “It’s your advice. I’m just repeating it. So you hate that you’re right and have to follow your own advice.”
I realized that even though I’d thought about inviting Amelia to the holiday party, I never actually had. So many other things happened I never got around to mentioning it. It was the perfect follow up for a phone call, which went straight to voicemail. I tried not to take it personally surely there were plenty of reasons I’d get her voicemail with no ring. She could be on the other line, or her phone could be turned off or have no service. Dozens of reasons.
“Hey Amelia, it’s Emmett. I’m calling to check in and see how you’re doing. I’m a little worried. I hope you’re okay. If you don’t have any plans on Saturday, we’re having a holiday party at The Tavern, and I’d love for you to come. I know Gemini would love to see you as well! All right give me a call when you have a second.”
Hopefully I didn’t sound as pitiful and desperate as I felt leaving that message.