Page 1 of Imbalanced Minds

Prologue

Iris

Have you ever felt smothered by someone, to the point you can’t voice your own opinion? Have you felt the life you have isn’t yours anymore, that you’re no longer in control, yet the only option is to unknowingly play along to the puppet master’s rules? I never thought that would happen to me until it was almost too late. My ex-boyfriend tried to manipulate me like that, and for the start, I let him.

At the start, we were great together. The excitement of getting to know each other and the beginning of a lustful relationship built the structure for something stronger. He was fun, carefree, and attentive—as I was to him—spending time getting to know me and my friends.

At the start, we were fuelled with passion. I loved that place of belonging. Knowing someone cared for me and took the time to properly get to know me.

After we dated several months, we became more serious; taking our relationship to the next stage—and I don’t mean sleeping together, I’m no prude. I’m talking feelings. Heavy feelings. The kind every girl hopes to share with a special someone.

At this point, I was finishing my last year of school and really looking forward to the next chapter in my life like deciding which career path I’d take and landing the perfect job—which I know wouldn’t happen straight away—but dreams and all of that, right? Not only that, but being able to move in with Tyrell and us spending more valuable time together.

I had so much planned for us that everything was looking promising to a happily ever after.

My life was perfect.

At least, second best to the life I dreamed; the boy I had crushed over prior to my boyfriend decided to look at me as no more than a friend, ignoring my flirting and attempts to show him I was interested (I’ll always blame that on my brother), then he upped and left town after finishing school, not looking back and breaking my heart.

Yeah, as perfect as can be.

With Tyrell being one year older and leaving school before I, he started changing. Small changes at first, like wanting to see me all the time; he’d pick me up from university, take me home or to his flat, refusing to acknowledge any plans I’d made. He’d message me around the clock wanting to know who I was with or what I was doing over the weekends. At the time, I thought it was super sweet, and—for no lack of trying—my friends were persistent to warn me that his behaviour was off. He was starting to act clingy and arrogant but of course, I was blinded by him and expressed to them that they were being silly.

Through all my lovesick stupidity, I followed him like a lost little lamb. Ignorant to the severity of these changes.

Towards the end, I didn’t realise what was happening until the real abuse started; both mental and physical.

The mental abuse went on much longer and was the most damaging. His words became spiteful. The words he spoke made way for self-doubt and insecurity.

The physical took me by surprise. That happened after graduation, once I’d stood up for myself wanting to spend time with my family celebrating my accomplishments, with him too, but he didn’t want that. He wanted me all to himself.

He couldn’t stand the way others were looking at me—his words. He’d get angry at me for that, among other things. He got that upset when we were in my room getting ready for dinner, he slapped me after verbally abusing me and calling me selfish. He said I wasn’t to go out afterwards or he’d ‘make me pay’.

It hurt, and I’m not talking about the red mark pulsing on my right cheek at the time.

My heart broke more that day. My aura broke with it.

Gone was the girl who had fun, had friends, had dreams.

In her place was a cracked shell. Hollow and broken.

So, that’s enough of my shitty past. I’m glad to get that off my chest, even if it’s only on paper. I wouldn’t dare admit the truth to anyone aloud, that I was so naïve I couldn’t see through the manipulation of a boy until it was almost too late.

I’m glad I had the courage to end things before he drowned me completely. I just wish I’d listened a lot sooner. Maybe then, I’d still have a clear head and my spark, instead of the fog that now looms.

I wish life was different.

At least, I have my good friend wine and my one constant BFF.

Cheers to that.

Until next time,

Iris x