Page 22 of B-Side

Chapter 8

Grace

Alec had leaned down to tell me something at the party, and we looked like we were casually talking, but I could feel tension radiating off of him. He was barely keeping himself from taking me into his arms, I could sense it.

He wanted to hold me and he was forcing himself not to do it. I knew he had been holding back these last few months, but something had really stirred him up tonight.

My heart leapt with excitement. It had been difficult for me to resist him all this time. I wanted Alec. I wanted him to hold me. I felt an urgency to go to him, and I almost didn't care that we were surrounded by a bunch of people. Different conversations were happening all around us. There were forty or fifty of those bigwigs at the party, and we all stood in small groups around the open living room and kitchen. People acted like they weren't paying attention to Alec and me, but they were.

I told him that nobody needed to apologize, and we just stood there and looked at each other.

"Alec," I said.

"Yes, Grace?"

"I don't know why I want to do this."

"Do what? Leave?"

"No," I said.

"Do what?" he asked, pulling back to stare at me with a curious expression.

I kissed him right there in the midst of the party. I held onto his arm and leaned toward him. I smiled and did it quickly, popping up to place a quick, soft kiss on his mouth. Alec let it happen, but he was stunned and barely moved.

I grinned as I pulled back, staring at him with a sincere expression. It had been months since my mouth touched his, and it made me feel like I was on fire when it happened.

I pretended to be a lot calmer than I was. "Is it a lot to take in that I've never done that with anyone but you, Alec?" I asked the question casually, and he took a deep breath as he stared at me with an unreadable expression.

"It is a lot," he said, sounding speechless.

"Are you okay?" I asked, stepping back a little so I could look at him. "Because we can leave."

"No, I'm fine," he said. "How about you? Are you okay? Did I make you that sad where you couldn't…" he trailed off, unable to string together the words.

"No, no, no, no Alec, I knew if you found this out it would be weird."

"What's weird about it?" he asked, staring at me seriously.

"You. You look really serious right now."

"I'm just thinking about everything. I’m seriously frustrated with that dude, Kyle, for trying anything with you."

Alec took a breath and glanced around, checking our surroundings. I could not get enough of him. He was an outlaw of the sweetest sort—a bad boy type who was charismatic without even trying.

This kiss, this evening would be a turning point for us. I had been taking baby steps this whole time. Alec was gorgeous to look at, and it was enough to handle without exposing myself to his music. I had to limit my exposure to his music, either live or recorded, since I knew it would make me fall desperately in love with him.

I had heard some of his music, but I hadn't seen him play live. Split Decision was not currently on tour, but when they were, they played sold-out arenas. I knew Alec in ninth grade, and then I had gotten to know him again in the last few months, but I didn't know him as a rockstar. I had access to his schedule, and I knew he worked hard and did a lot with the band, even when they weren't on tour. But I wasn't exposed to any of his music. I did that intentionally.

Alec had broken out in song several times in front of me, and I always found ways to make him stop singing without being obvious. I knew that music was part of who he was, but his musicianship was simply too appealing for me to expose myself to it just yet.

Alec sang and played piano mostly, but he also played guitar. I had seen him pick up a guitar and play it when they were messing around at his house. That was the kind of thing that almost made me beg him to kiss me. But I always resisted. I found ways to pull back, urging us to both be patient and wait.

Tonight, it was just too difficult for both of us, though. Alec had stalked over to me, all jealous and brooding, and it was too much for me to resist. I had kissed him on the mouth, right there in front of everyone at the party.

Nothing happened after that. We were surrounded by people, most of whom wanted a minute of Alec's time. I stayed next to him, but he didn't kiss me again or otherwise make contact during the remainder of the dinner. We stood and then sat next to each other, and we talked to one another a lot, but we behaved the same as we had been behaving the last few months—like friends.

I could tell something had changed with him, though. Something was different after he got the news about being my only one. I thought it was a positive reaction, but I wasn't entirely sure. He was definitely having a reaction. I knew we had more to talk about later.