Page 1 of Made for Cyn
Chapter One
“Be good,” Mom says, brushing my hair back from my forehead. I pull away out of instinct before relaxing under her touch. Even though it’s been years since I was young enough for this to be appropriate, I still crave her gentle touch to this day.
“I will,” I promise and give my younger brother Joey a squeeze. We’re six years apart, but from the moment he was born, I considered him mine. In all that time, we’ve always been together, and knowing I need to do something for myself does not relieve the grip on my heart screaming at me to change my mind.
Although I’m hiding behind a mask of calm, my stomach is a roiling mass of nerves as I contemplate the next nine months. It wasn’t easy, not with my parent’s philosophies, but I persevered, and they eventually gave in.
For the first time in my life, I’m finishing my education in a real, bonafide school, as a senior, no less. This means I’ll be going it alone, or without my parents and brother anyway.
They’ve spent the better part of my life eschewing formal school—well, formal anything. So, when I made my request, they gave in only under the demand that I stay with my dad’s sister while I do.
Strangely, my plans to be normal morphed into their plans to travel the country with my little brother in tow. I’m relieved they’re leaving the compound we’ve been living in for the better part of my youth, but I find it sad that it’s only after I put my foot down.
“I’ll miss you, Joey,” I say softly, brushing his hair back, much the same way Mom did mine.
He beams at me, his blue eyes lighting up with pleasure. I’ll miss my parents, for sure, but this little being who stole my heart, he’s the one who’s tearing it out now.
“Me too, Rainy.” He pushes his glasses up his nose and glances at the car.
With a sigh, I push him away, knowing it’s up to me to make this as lighthearted as possible. I love my parents, but they can be woefully oblivious at times.
Dad rounds the corner of our beat-up vehicle and pulls me into his arms before pecking me on the forehead.
“Be good, Rainy, hmm,” he says, giving me a tight hug and letting me go.
My stomach clenches when he turns away, my chin wobbling with my smile because I know he struggles with emotions just as much as I do, which is why I let him go without making this harder than it is.
Joey gets in the back seat and grabs a book, opening to his last saved page. It’s his attempt to ignore the overwhelming sense of loss that’s creeping through my heart like an anvil.
Mom turns to me and brushes my shoulder with her hand, giving me a soft smile before striding to the car with purpose. She’s always been the one to pave our way, never looking back, never regretting.
Sliding into the passenger seat, she opens the atlas in her lap, ready to navigate, and I watch them pull away. Maybe I would’ve been better off in the compound with my family, living my best off-the-grid granola life, but it’s too late now.
Although they enjoyed the peace that came with living freely, I was stifled. There was a big bright world just beyond the walls, but we couldn’t see it and were discouraged from experiencing it.
My parents love us and would give anything to see us happy, but for them, happiness is that simplicity, and for me, it’s the opposite. I’m looking forward to meeting new people and forging new friendships, to creating a life free of the religion and strictures I’ve grown up under. I’m sad to see them go, and despite the weight on my chest, I take a deep breath and smile as I turn to my new home.
This is my chance to be free, and I’m going to embrace it with both hands.
???
Since I have to live with Dad’s sister Pam, it means I will be attending my last year of school with my cousin, Iris, who’s the same age as me.
Pam is married for the second time, and Iris is from her first marriage. John, Pam’s husband, is friendly enough, but he’s never been able to resist the occasional snide remark about my parent’s hippie-loving ways. I suppose it’s an enigma to him, but it irritates me to hear him put them down. Still, he’s always been nice to me, and I know I have to give him a chance since I’ll be living under his roof.
Pam and John never had kids of their own, so it will be just Iris and me. Despite our disparate upbringing, hers in a staunchly middle-class setting with parents who ruled the roost, as it were, and mine, living off the grid among people who are the epitome of free, she’s the one with the spirit and I the caution.
I guess it’s not surprising. Where my parents didn’t have rules, despite Prophet Jim’s religious beliefs, I felt the need to step in and create them. Iris, on the other hand, has been bucking the rules imposed on her for her entire life. With that said, we tend to even each other out because I reel her in, and she attempts to set me free.
It’s the last weekend before we start school, and I’ve got a pit a mile wide in my stomach. I’ve never set foot in a public school, and now that I’ve insisted on the opportunity, I can only hope the experience is everything I want it to be.
The hardest part will be all the new people. The same fifty folks have surrounded me since I can remember, and when you’ve known someone since diapers, making small talk isn’t an issue.
“Here, let me curl your hair,” Iris tuts, staring at my long, dark locks before pulling me into the tiny bathroom we’re to share for the foreseeable future.
I can’t complain, though, because it’s far more than I’m accustomed to. Just having my own room with a door that I can shut is new and different. At the compound, we were forced to sleep in dormitories with zero privacy.
Prophet Jim, our sanctimonious leader, doesn’t believe in luxuries, so we did without. Although to be fair, I didn’t really miss those things because on the compound, no one had them.