Page 130 of Made for Cyn
“Is that right? I think you took what you wanted just fine,” Bastion says.
She spins on her heel, facing Bastion with her hands on her hips. Behind him, Cyn stands with his arms crossed over his chest, and I allow myself the weakness of looking over his form with burning eyes before turning away. He may be beautiful, but he’s dead inside, and I would do well to remember it.
“Whatever,” she says, turning back to me and holding out her hand.
I don’t want to take it because I don’t trust her anymore than I trust them, but she’s still here, and they’re like fucking ghosts, so with a sigh, I stand, my bones creaking from the cold.
“Your lips are blue, and goth doesn’t look good on you,” she says, her eyes creasing as she squeezes my hand.
“Hmm, I disagree,” Cyn purrs, and my gaze flies to him, where he looks at me with an icy expression. “You look hot, Rainbow. Maybe Saul will freeze his dick off when you suck him down later.”
My heart thumps and I meet his frozen emerald eyes with a blank stare, daring him to say another fucking word. His brows slam over his eyes before he pulls his features back into a bored expression and with a wan smile, I step past Iris.
Ignoring the horrible pulse in my heart that tells me to curl into a ball and die, I stop before Cyn, ignoring Iris’ hand on my arm.
His eyes burn into mine as I reach up and trace my icy cold finger down his cheek before he flinches and pulls back.
Dropping my hand, I lean into him and whisper, “Don’t worry, Cyn, Saul warms me right up.”
His nostrils flare, the only emotion he allows me to see, and pulling my lips into a wretched smile, I turn away. If only he would see, but he doesn’t care. He never did. Iris was right. He was using me, and now my usefulness is at an end.
It’s up to me to get past this because I’m on my own. I just wish I knew how to ease the ache because most days, I feel like I’m fucking dying, and the mere act of getting out of bed is too much for me to handle.
“Foolish,” Cyn murmurs and I stop in the threshold, “because Saul fucking Rose will destroy you.”
“Well, he can certainly try,” I say, clenching my hand at my side, “but there’s not much left to bother.”
We’re set up in partners during gym to play badminton, another entirely stupid game, but at least it’s inside. It’s also not a contact sport, meaning the jerks have no excuse to touch me.
My partner, Anya, who invited me to a party once upon a time, frowns at me and essentially ignores me as she steps in between me and the birdie every chance she gets. It’s no skin off my back, and I stand and stare at the net uselessly while the game proceeds around me.
I don’t care about this game. I don’t care about these people. I don’t fucking care about anything, and they can cast their slurs, punch me, push and kick me, but none of it matters because this doesn’t matter.
I participated in an act that made a man disappear, and he’s dead, gone, erased from this earth. This? This doesn’t come close to comparing.
We’re finishing up, and I’m standing back until the crowd clears when Jig steps up beside me. I spy his brilliant blue hair out of the corner of my eye and stiffen, staring at the wall. I don’t need to meet his eyes to know what’s there—censure and hate. Besides, I can’t take it right now, not from him.
He was the only one who was affectionate and halfway kind. Where Cyn spent all his time trying to get me to conform to his stupid rules, Jig made me smile and laugh, and I miss him. I guess even that was a facade, though.
“You fucked up, Rain,” he says grimly.
Nodding my head, I say quietly, “I did what I had to do to protect myself. Can you say the same?”
“If that’s true, why didn’t you just say something?”
“Because, Jig, every time I turned around Cyn was fucking some chick, Bastion was scowling at me and—”
“Jig!”
We both turn to Cyn, who’s standing in the doorway with a scowl, and Jig sighs, murmuring, “I guess it doesn’t matter. You made your choice.”
“Yay, me.” I turn away and drop the racket in the bin before heading wearily toward the locker room.
At the last moment, I can’t resist turning back, but Cyn’s no longer there. He’s gone. The message couldn’t be any clearer; he’s done, and I wish it could be as easy for me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Winter break finally rolls around, and with it, a small patch of peace because I’m not met with the reminder of my supposed betrayal at every turn. Laying in my bed and categorizing the bruises and aches spanning my body, I contemplate dropping out.