Page 9 of Lilacs and Leather
Diane Fletcher met my father, Samuel Anderson, at a church potluck her junior year of high school. He was visiting some relatives and swept her off her feet right away. They courted until she graduated, and they were bonded and married within the year. My eldest brother, Samuel Jr, came along shortly after. She’s the poster child for the omega fairytale: find a big, strong alpha to protect and care for you, and give him a gaggle of children to rule over.
My mind wanders back to a time when that fantasy was all I ever wanted. To be a mother and a wife. To have a bond mate who worshiped the ground I walked on, like I’d seen in the movies. My childhood dream of an alpha would adore me, listen to me, love me more than the air he breathed. He’d take me out, show me the world outside of my tiny hometown, and we’d live happily ever after. I’d spent so long dreaming that I’d forgotten that life is never that kind. Even the fantasy my parents painted was just a thin veneer over a marriage plagued with fights and bitterness. I’d learned the hard way that dreams don’t come true, not for omegas like me.
I finish filling the seed display and move back to the counter, resting my elbows on it, zoning out. It’s been almost a half an hour, and my mother is still going strong. I’ve long since lost the thread of her lecture, and I have no desire to find it again. I wonder if I could just hang up and pretend to not be here if she calls back. I’m weighing the pros and cons when her next words pull me back abruptly.
“Darren was at the funeral, you know,” Mom drawls pointedly.
I stop breathing for a moment and straighten in a snap. My hand tightens on the handset, and I pick up the pen from where I left it on the counter. I tap it rapidly against the worn wood, rolling my shoulders to release the tension as I take deep, steadying breaths. I shiver against a phantom breeze, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. My mind spins out of control, and I can’t think as my chest tightens.
“Oh?” I cough, the only response my mind can muster.
“Yes, such a kind boy. He wanted to pay his respects, alpha to alpha. You know how much work he did for my father, and how much all of us love him,” Mom gushes.
“I see.”
I trace over the words on the pad again and again. The truth. Not the story they’ve crafted. The harsh reality.
She lied to you.
She knew and did nothing to warn you.
SHE KNEW AND LET IT HAPPEN.
My vision goes gray at the edges as I focus on the pad and the words I put there. The blue ink is practically black against the pink paper and little tears appear on some of the downstrokes as I move the pen back and forth along the letters. The motion starts to bring my mind back down, and back under my control.
“He asked after you, of course. But since you decided I shouldn’t be privy to what you do wherever you are, I couldn’t really tell him much,” Mom huffs indignantly.
“He doesn’t know where I am?” I ask, my voice a hoarse whisper.
“Well, no. Like I said, you won’t even tell me, your own mother, where you live. I had to practically stalk you to find out about this little flower shop,” she goes on.
“Mom, please do not tell Darren where I am. We broke up for a reason, and I want it to stay that way,” I press, my hand tightening around the pen until I hear plastic crack.
She’s silent for a long moment. “I don’t know. I’d hate to lie to an alpha, and if your father asks about you, and it gets back to Darren—”
“Mom, I’m serious. I didn’t leave to hurt you or Dad, and I’ve kept up as much contact with you as I can. This isn’t out of spite, but for my safety. If he finds out where I am, I’m gone. I will cut off all contact, even with Jason,” I say, the shaking in my hands getting more intense.
“Don’t be dramatic, Lydia. That isn’t really—”
“Don’t test me, Diane. This is not up for debate.”
That makes her go quiet for a long moment. I hear a car pulling into street parking outside, and the fan kicks on for the walk-in fridge in the back.
“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal, but okay. I won’t say anything. But if your father asks about you, I will not lie and say I don’t know how to contact you,” she concedes with a righteous sniff.
I sigh heavily. That’s probably the best I’m going to get from her. Time to bail. Any longer and she’s going to find her second wind. “Fine. I have to go. There’s a customer.”
“Okay. Please call me on your cell phone when you can. My phone must have been hacked and your number was deleted,” she replies quickly.
I roll my eyes.Always the victim. “Okay.”
If she’d have asked for my last dollar bill, I would have given it away gladly just to get her off the damn phone. My phone number is nothing and can be easily changed if needed.
“I love you, Lydia.”
“Yep, bye.”
I hang up before she can get the last word and set the handset down carefully, fighting the impulse to throw it across the room. They know where I work. Fuck. I like this job so much, love Gabby and Wila more than most of my blood relatives. They’d be heartbroken if I quit. I wonder if I could persuade Wila to change the business phone number. Maybe I should change the locks on my apartment door? I’d have to double check with my landlord what kind of lock he would approve of installing and make sure I get him the spare key.