Page 95 of Lilacs and Leather
Gabby steps down from the ladder, and I move back with her to admire the decorations. All red, white, and blue Americana, wreaths and arrangements tastefully on display. We put the sheer curtain back and turn into the store. It’s almost closing time, and with no major flower holidays, it’s been pretty slow for the last couple of weeks. It was almost quitting time for the office workers, so we’d see a small rush soon, but we could relax for the moment. I go behind the counter, leaning heavily as Gabby hops onto it, twisting so one of her legs is bent while the other dangles over the front edge.
“Your date idea was great. Me and Myself had a really good time at the spa,” Gabby starts with a laugh.
I chuckle with a fond smile. I’d suggested that Gabby try dating herself for a while, and she’s been taking herself out on the town. She’s been brighter, more energized and she’s been having a great time getting to know herself more.
“I’m glad you both liked it. We’ll have to do a girl’s night there sometime soon,” I say, doodling on the order pad.
“Will you be able to fit me onto your dance card? You know what they say about company and crowds,” Gabby teases.
I look up at her with a flat stare. “I’ll always have space for you Gabs.”
“You’re in a mood, aren’t you? Everything okay?” she asks, tone still light.
I hear a car go by outside and my head twitches to the door before I look back to the countertop. I shrug, drawing mindless swirls and whorls on the pink paper.
“Trouble in paradise?” Gabby asks hesitantly.
“I suppose. They have an ex who might be able to give mine a serious run for his money in the “Worst Human Being Ever” contest,” I grumble.
“Wow, that bad?” Gabby says with a low whistle.
“Yep,” I reply, popping the P for emphasis. “He’s got them cornered and they can’t shake him. He’s the reason Lucas and Rhett haven’t bonded, I found out. He’s an omega and is holding right of first refusal over their heads.”
“Shit,” Gabby says, drawing out the word in her shock.
“The pack and I got into it because he wants to meet me, but they don’t want me anywhere near him. I say let him try, but he knows about Darren, so the pack thinks it’s too risky.”
“And what do you think?”
“That it’s bullshit. I didn’t escape one narc to just allow another one to control me.”
It feels so good to finally say all of this out loud to someone who has some objectivity. Gabby cares about me, but she doesn’t have to worry about the backlash of going against pack mates or hurting feelings.
“You’ve only been going out for a few months, but they have to realize that they can only kick this can so far before the road ends,” Gabby asks, playing with the end of one of her braids.
I sigh. “That’s what worries me the most, I think. This would have been a good time to try to get out from under his thumb, but they… well, Alexandra is letting him get away with this.”
“Ah, so it’s not Rhett and Mateo that have you all tied up in knots,” Gabby says with a chuckle.
“No, no, it’s not them. Rhett wants to protect me more than anything. He might take it a little far at times, but I know his heart is in the right place. Mateo wants to be free so bad, to just have the choice of who he gives his heart to for once. And the longer this drags out, the more it hurts him. And Lucas just wants his pack to be happy, and put this behind them once and for all,” I explain, recalling my conversations with him.
“So Alexandra is the problem,” Gabby summarizes.
I huff out a sigh. “I don’t know. I can’t figure her out. One minute she’s looking at me like I’m her favorite dessert, and the next she’s completely untouchable. I get why Mateo calls her the ice queen.”
“Have you talked to them about this? What it means for y’all going forward?” Gabby asks again.
I shrug noncommittally. “We’re not trying to rush this, and it hasn’t come up.”
“Do you know what you want?”
I open my mouth, ready to say that I don’t, but I close it again with a frown. I think about all the dreams, both at night and during the day, I’ve had about these alphas, and even their beta. Every time I wake up in Rhett’s arms, I can imagine how I would wake up nearly every morning for the rest of my life like that, and how happy those thoughts make me. I can see how Lucas and I would make pack meals in their incredible kitchen, him teaching me the techniques he’s picked up in his travels, my showing him all of the traditional Southern foods I learned at the elbow of my grandmothers. I’d even imagined what it would be like to take Mateo to New Orleans and show him the best places to eat that only locals know about.
“You’re in love with them,” Gabby declares when I’m silent for a long time.
I feel my face heat at her words, but I can’t deny how they make my stomach swoop and my heart race. Rhett’s smile, Mateo’s laugh, the way they look at me like I’m some heaven-sent blessing. The emotions mix in my gut, and I can’t help but smile. I never once believed I could feel this way about anyone, especially after Darren. But I can’t deny how much I’ve grown to care for them in just a few short months. And maybe it’s time I admit that my feelings are more than just affection.
“Yeah, I think I do. That’s wild, right? How can I love two men?” I admit, a little astonished.