Page 25 of His to Keep
“Y-yes.” I’m on the edge of a slope. Any minute I’m going to slip and fall and perish. And maybe I want to.
“Yes,what?”
“Yes, m-my Lord.”
He visibly calms and breathes out deeply. “To fight this would mean you won’t accept God’s will and testament. But like the manipulative Eve, I know you can be disobedient creatures by nature, and he has instructed me how to teach you to conform. Youwillbe mine, Ava. There’s simply nothing you can do about it.”
Chapter Fifteen
Time passes slowly, but days race by. Blending to create one long, everlasting Hell. Days turn to weeks, a month. Two months. Three. There’s no way of truly knowing, though Father Aaron likes to remind me of how long I’ve been part of his family. Using each month as some sick anniversary for how long left before the ceremony.
There’s a permanent lump in my throat whenever I think about time spent in this room. As I gaze out of the window, outside close but out of reach, I’m all too aware of life moving while I’m stuck. Every day has been the same; the family relying on a routine worked around Father Aaron. Callum and I are left in the room until dinnertime—our only meal of the day. John comes to escort us down to the dining room, where we eat whatever is served by Penny. The days Father Aaron isn’t here, we don’t eat at all. We’re left in the room, and the lack of food is taking its toll. The dresses that were once snug now hang off my body.
Food isn’t the only thing changing me. Stress is also a silent assailant. Only taking effect the night Father Aaron brought me to the other room to reveal his plans for me. I never cried as hard as I did that night, made worse by Callum’s newfound mission to keep his distance from me, which I’m sure has everything to do with me kissing him. He no longer asks questions late at night about life outside. He barely looks at me, avoiding me wherever possible, only speaking when it’s an instruction or a command.
Each day, he stares out the window or at the wall whenever he doesn’t give attention to his sketchbook and pencils. Always lost in his thoughts, some of which I believe aren’t good from the random times he’d slam his fists against the table and shut himself in the bathroom. Staying away for long periods. All to get away from me, I’m sure.
It’s almost five o’clock, and after spending the entire morning in bed with nothing else to do, I get up to dress for dinner. There’s no way of knowing if Father Aaron will be here or not, but I change anyway in case John does arrive.
Callum continues drawing as I pad over to the basket with a new batch of white dresses Penny brought to the room during the week. Supervised by John, she comes to the room to collect laundry and replaces them with perfectly ironed clean clothes. The whole time John watches me. All the sick things he wants to do to me, playing out in his eyes.
Reaching inside the basket, I pull out another dress and go into the bathroom to change. Kicking the door closed behind me, I tug my nightdress over my head, but a floorboard creaks behind me, and with a gasp, I whirl around. Callum turns away quickly. The door hadn’t closed properly, and he accidentally saw me.
Rushing over to the door, I push it closed and let out a deep breath. Trying to ignore the shivery thrill shooting down my spine.
* * *
“Ava,”Father Aaron says at dinnertime, and I reluctantly lift my gaze in his direction. “I’d like a word after dinner.”Oh, no.What does he want now?
He peers at the horror room, and my insides sink, instant panic winding me up inside.No. I don’t want to go in there. Anywhere but in there. Breathing out heavily, I can’t catch my breath. I can’t take this anymore, I can’t—
A hand rests on top of my own, fingers tightening around mine, firm enough to pull me away from the black hole I was about to fall into. Glancing down, I blink in shock at Callum’s hand holding mine. Despite the cold way he’s acted toward me this past while, I clasp his hand tighter, afraid to let go. He shifts, maybe uncomfortably, but doesn’t pull away. I know I shouldn’t, and it’s wrong, but I can’t seem to care when the panic inside of me calms, his hand like an anchor pulling me back from the fog. When my breathing goes back to normal, he lets go before we’re caught.
When we all finish, Father Aaron dabs the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Come along, Ava.”
Getting up, his hand rests on my shoulder. I’m frozen when he guides me to the horror room before opening the door and forcing me inside. It’s just how it was before. Dark with a pungent scent of chemicals. My insides silently scream as my gaze settles on the table with the cuffs waiting for me. Pulling me by the arm, Father Aaron pushes me down into the chair and circles me slowly.
“Put your hands on the desk.” Tears blur my vision as I do as he says, spreading my hands out against the wood. Reaching out, he touches my face. I lean back, and he laughs. “You truly are a temptress. I see why so many watched you. Why their heads turned whenever you walked by.” He sighs. “It worried your grandmother a great deal.”
Reaching out into the darkness, he pulls a chair from nowhere and slams it in front of me. Sitting down, he folds one of his legs over his other.
“I went to see her yesterday. She’s very ill. I thought you should know.”
“She’s sick?”
“For a few weeks now—she didn’t come to Sunday service.” He drums his fingers against his thigh. “I went to visit, but she refuses to see a doctor. She says she’s fine.”
“I must go to her.”
“No.”
“Please, Father—”
“My Lord.”
“My Lord,” I say, the back of my throat dry. “If she’s sick, then she needs me—”
“No.”