Page 39 of Courting Claudia
She threw her arms up in the air. “I am a woman, in case that’s failed to come to your attention. I can’t stand up to anyone about anything. It isn’t done. My father decides whom I marry.”
“Do you always let him dictate everything you do?”
“This is a pointless conversation. I don’t expect you to understand. You’re a man; you can do as you choose. Ladies have no choices.”
Why was he fighting her? That restless choking feeling that surged through him couldn’t be panic. He had no reason to panic. It was an inconvenience to have her resign her position, but it shouldn’t affect him one way or another not to see her anymore. His fascination and attraction to her would eventually wane.
Even as he thought it, somehow he doubted it was true. Not completely. And it was less about her leaving the paper than he was ready to admit. He didn’t want her to walk out his door with the intention of never seeing him again.
She had become like a drink to him, a drug his body craved. He couldn’t get enough kisses, couldn’t stop the fantasies of making love to her that plagued his thoughts.
“Your father is a tyrant.”
“My father is not a tyrant,” she said quickly. “And if he were, it would be none of your concern.” Her defense of her father was solid, her loyalty apparently unbending.
“Let’s not discuss your father. What do you know about Richard?” Derrick knew he shouldn’t care if she married Richard, yet the thought of her doing so drove him insane. He refused to analyze precisely why he cared. He was merely being a gentleman to protect her from a relationship with such a deceitful and manipulative man.
“What do you mean? He’s a marquess. He’s from a good family. He works with my father. He’s a good man. I know plenty about him.”
“Richard is not a good man.”
She frowned. “You say that with such certainty.”
“That’s because I know. I know Richard. I know more about him than you or your father. I’d wager if your father knew what I know, then he’d change his mind about you marrying Richard.”
“What is it that you know?”
“Suffice it to say, I know what I’m talking about, and Richard is the wrong man for you.”
“Now you’re giving me advice about men?”
“I don’t want to see you involved in something or someone that will ruin your life.”
“I appreciate your concern, but truly it’s unnecessary. I know this is all really about the paper. You’re protecting what is yours, and I respect that. Regardless of whether I marry Richard or someone else, no husband will allow his wife to have a paid position. Surely you know that.”
“I know that narrow-minded men feel threatened when women take paid positions. A society that deems it is acceptable for poor women on the East End to earn their wages on their backs, yet feels it is unacceptable for a woman of good breeding to take a paid position, makes no sense. It’s wrong. My mother worked, and there was nothing improper about her.”
“That’s quite forward thinking.”
“I suppose it is. But it’s ignorant of us to think that simply because someone is a woman she is unable or unqualified to work. You are the perfect example. You illustrate as well as, if not better than, all my other illustrators. You could be an example for other women.”
She released a heavy sigh, then her shoulders dropped. “While I would love to give hope to other women, I’m afraid I’m not the person to do so. Derrick, I appreciate your confidence in me. But whether or not it makes sense, it is inappropriate for women to have paid positions. It’s a fact of our society.”
“You’ll just accept that?”
She walked to look out the window. “It doesn’t matter what I think about this.”
“How can it not matter if it involves your life?”
She spun around to face him. “I don’t have good instincts about things,” she said with nearly a yell, then quickly covered her mouth. “I apologize.”
“No need to apologize. Yell—it doesn’t offend me.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “You don’t have good instincts about what?”
“Anything. Everything. I’ve learned to ignore my feelings as they tend to get me into trouble. I try to follow my father’s guidance. He knows what is proper.”
Somehow that bastard of a father had convinced her that her own instincts were wrong. Inappropriate. And he was using that against her—making her feel guilty for her natural emotions.
No matter what Derrick said, she’d never see life his way—or allow herself the freedom to live as she’d like. She was imprisoned.