Page 80 of Courting Claudia

Damnation. He had asked for it. He needed some bloody distance from her. Her body was intoxicating, and having it at his disposal was weakening his resolve, and he could not allow her to get to his heart.

So he could make her stay here. But she’d hate him for it. Although perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. On the other hand, he didn’t want to destroy their marriage. So if he made her stay here, she’d consider him a liar. He’d told her in one breath to speak her mind and then in the next stifled her because she disagreed with him. He would have to keep her close and possibly hire someone to watch the house to ensure her safety.

He would bring her home, knowing full well that in the end she would probably choose her father over him. He’d ignore the tiny hope that she’d choose him. That in the end she’d fall in love with him and give him her complete loyalty. Why would he need her love? It was cruel to want it when he wouldn’t return it.

“All right, my wife, you win. But I am not pleased about this. You will not be able to traipse about London as you are accustomed to doing. I expect you to use an escort at all times. And tell me where you’re going and when.”

She smiled brightly. “I can do that.”

“As it turns out, I need to get back to the paper, so we’ll be leaving today.”

She stood.

“One more thing.” He pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her. It was a full assault on her mouth; he plunged his tongue deep in her mouth, swirling it around with hers.

God, he wanted her.

He released her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at him.

“I believe my aunt is planning a ball in our honor. An announcement of our marriage. I hope you don’t mind.”

She shook her head. “But I will definitely need to go to the dressmaker now.” She gave him a quick kiss, then left the room.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She couldn’t keep her mind clear for more than a few minutes with him kissing her all the time. It was deliciously fun, but it rattled her, kept her from thinking clearly.

He’d wanted her to stay here. Was he ashamed of her as a wife? Did he not want a real marriage with her even though he claimed he did? He obviously wanted her body, a realization that thrilled her like nothing else, but what about her? She’d spent her entire life waiting for a man to notice her, expecting to find a man who would eventually grow to love her for the person she was on the inside. Instead she married the only man in London who physically desired yet could not love her.

Of all the rotten luck.

Once they’d arrived back in London, Derrick had left her at home with strict instructions that she was not to go anywhere except to visit Poppy. Which she fully intended to do and was on her way out the door when the butler stopped her.

“Mistress, these letters came for you while you were in the country.” He handed her a stack of letters, three in all.

She recognized her father’s penmanship immediately. She thanked the butler, then took a seat in the nearby parlor. The wax seal cracked as she quickly unfolded the letter.

All three of them were similar. “Please come quickly.” “I need you.” “I can’t believe you deserted me.” Her heart beat wildly in her chest. Her father was reaching out to her the only way he knew how, and she’d left town on her honeymoon. What if he was ill? Oh, please don’t let her be too late.

She gave the carriage driver the address. A visit to Poppy would have to wait. She must see her father now. Derrick would likely be upset, but surely he would understand these circumstances. Derrick had made it clear how he felt about her father, but a good daughter wouldn’t desert a man in need.

The carriage rocked to a stop, and she didn’t even wait for the driver to assist her to the ground. She flew up the front steps and let herself in.

“Father? Father, where are you?”

She met Baubie halfway up to the second floor.

“How is he?” Claudia asked.

“The worst I’ve ever seen him. He’s not eating, only drinking. And cursing and yelling like a madman. I’ve been tossing the liquor when I can find his hidden bottles. Doesn’t seem to do much good though, he seems to always have one on hand.”

“Thank you, Baubie. I’ve got to find him.”

She opened two doors before she found him, sitting in his office, a drink in one hand and looking more ragged than she’d ever seen him.

“Father?”

He looked up, his eyes not quite focusing on her. “Claudia, is that you?”

She came to kneel before him. The sharp odor of alcohol almost knocked her over. He looked and smelled as if he’d been drinking for days. “I came as quickly as I could. I’ve been on my honeymoon, or I would have been here sooner. Are you ill?”