Page 86 of Courting Claudia

“Do not walk out of here, girl; we’re not done with our discussion.”

She heard his cane and footsteps tapping on the floor behind her, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t want to discuss it anymore. She didn’t want to change her mind. For once in her life, she’d stood up to him, and she felt nervous and excited and sick all at once. Her blood pounded loudly in her ears, and she thought if she stopped walking, she might crumple to the floor.

“If you walk out of here, don’t come back. Do you understand me?” he yelled behind her. “Don’t you come back. Ever!”

She closed her eyes and stopped walking. She could feel Derrick’s breath on her neck. He didn’t nudge the small of her back to move forward, nor did he grab her arm and lead her outside, instead he simply stood there, behind her, allowing her to make this decision.

She hadn’t wanted any of this to come down to her choosing, but it had. And she couldn’t choose her father. She loved him, and she’d wanted her whole life for him to accept and approve of her, but it didn’t matter now. She didn’t need it anymore. She was proud of herself and her accomplishments.

She chose her husband. She walked the few steps it took to cross the threshold, then closed the door behind her.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know. You didn’t have to choose,” Derrick said.

“Yes, I did.”

She didn’t speak the entire ride back to their house. Derrick kept trying to think of something to say, something to make the hurt go away, but he was at a loss. Her father was a bastard; that was the only excuse. It wasn’t her fault, and she shouldn’t have to hurt because of her father’s selfishness. She was a dutiful and loving daughter, one any father would be proud of, but for some mysterious reason hers was not.

She cried no tears, but rather sat quietly staring out the window as they rode home. He wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how. He wanted to kill her father for causing her such pain, but for obvious reasons he couldn’t do that. She’d chosen him, and he was yet again deceiving her. All for good reason, but what would she say if she knew he was close to accusing her father?

Once they arrived home, he followed her up to their room, not wanting to leave her alone. He closed the bedroom door and turned to her.

“Claudia, I—”

She put her finger to his lips. “No. There’s nothing to say. I’ll be all right. A little shocked. Although I’m not certain why. I shouldn’t be the least surprised. It’s not as if he’s shown me any warmth to indicate that he loved me and wanted me to be happy.” She tried to smile. “Honestly, I don’t know what my mother saw in him.”

“Perhaps nothing. They could have married for any number of reasons.”

“She claimed she loved him. But maybe she only said that for my benefit. I can’t imagine someone as gentle and loving as my mother giving her heart to that man. I’ve wasted so much time trying to please him.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

She stood silently a moment, then met his gaze. “Yes. Right now I feel so numb, so dead inside. I need to touch you. I need you to touch me. I need to know that I’m alive and can still feel.”

He nodded.

She came to him then, her hands already unbuttoning her dress. Her eyes traveled the length of him in a look so seductive and practiced, she looked more mistress than wife.

In an instant, her mouth was on his, hungrily kissing him. Her fingers fumbled with his shirt, and he tried to help her, but she pushed his hands out of the way. She was in charge. Had his mouth not been otherwise engaged, he would have smiled.

She peeled his shirt off and immediately began unfastening his pants. Already partially aroused, he grew instantly hard as her hand grazed him while unfastening his pants.

He tried again to touch her, to cup her breasts, and she moved his hands.

“No,” she said. “This time I want to do it.”

She needed to be in control, and he understood that. She’d fought her own desires her entire life, and tonight she’d stood up to her father for the first time. It would take more than one night of taking the lead in the bedroom to banish her demons, but it was a step. She finished removing his clothes and led him to the bed. He climbed atop it and turned to face her. Her beautiful blue eyes had darkened to the color of the sky right before a storm.

She gave him a lazy smile, then began removing her clothes. Slowly. Seductively. He was going crazy with want for her. His loins ached for the warmth of her body.

First her dress came off, and she gave a little wiggle. Then her petticoat. Piece by piece, until she stood before him gloriously naked. He wanted to lick every inch of her pale, soft flesh.

His eyes moved to the triangle of hair between her legs, golden like the hair on her head. He longed to part it and bury himself inside her.

“Claudia, please.”

“Be patient.”

She sauntered to the bed. One hand grabbed onto a bedpost, and she tossed her head back, and her blond ringlets brushed against her plump bottom. He squirmed. She inched onto the bed next to his feet, then got on her hands and knees. Ever so gently, she crawled up his body, only stopping to rub her breasts against his legs, then his member, and then his chest.