Page 78 of Violent Attraction

He turns to face me and this time instead of keeping his distance from me, he approaches me, only leaving a small space between us.

Santiago isn’t even touching me and I feel him all over my body.

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight?” He offers and I have to take a step back. I’m not doing this.

“Don’t do that.” I hold up a hand when he takes a step towards me.

“Don’t do what?” He seriously can’t be this stupid.

“Don’t tell me that I look beautiful. We both know what happened when you told me those words all those years ago. And we also know what happened after. So please don’t make this worse. You wanted to talk, so please just talk.”

Am I being harsh? Maybe, but this feels like a violent cycle that has no end. He wants to call me beautiful, fine I’ll let him, but he can do it after he says everything he brought me here to say.

I’m standing my ground because I’m sick and tired of this shit.

He nods and I think he’s going to take me seriously but then he speaks.

“It’s not a lie though, you do look beautiful.”

Oh my god.

I’m out.

With a groan and an eye roll thrown in his direction, I turn to leave the room.

“I’m sorry!” He yells out before I can even take a step.

I turn slightly, not fully facing him, seeing that he is still standing where he was a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry, bella. I’m so fucking sorry.”

The way the words are rolling off his tongue he’s not saying sorry for his comment a few minutes ago. No, this is a different kind of sorry.

I don’t move from my position. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

There’s a lump already forming in my throat. The conversation hasn’t even started and I’m already feeling emotional.

“Everything. For hurting you all those years ago, for leaving you that morning, for making you believe that I didn’t love you and for giving you the impression that I didn’t care for what we built together.”

The hurt in his voice makes it almost near impossible to move or to not go to him and tell him that I accept his apology.

But I have to be honest with myself here.

I don’t accept it, and I won’t accept it until I hear why he did what he did. Why he walked out of this very room and told me that he wasn’t going to with me.

I deserve at least that.

“Then why did you? Why did you walk away from me when shit got tough? Why didn’t you stay to fight for me? Why did you walk away?” The more I ask the questions the angrier I get.

What makes me want to blow the gasket though, is the fact that Santiago just stands there, not saying a word.

So much for talking.

“I can’t do this.”

The lump that was forming in my throat has become so big that I can’t take it anymore and let the tears release.

This time when I turn around and walk, I am able to make it to the door before he actually speaks.