Page 77 of Hold

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Why not? We’re a team, darlin’.”

“God, Gabe, could you be that clueless? When were you ever a part of this team?”

“All right, I admit when it came to the finances, I fell down on the job for a while there—”

“For fifteen years, Gabe!”

“But those boys know who their father is, and that means a lot.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You spout that like I should thank you for just existing. They learned from you that being a father meant coming and going at will and never having to do any work and—”

“Jacob might be mad at me right now, but he knows who I am. He’ll come around. He’s like me, that lad.”

“God, I hope not.”

“I’ve changed, T. But you’ve got to admit, there was a side of that carefree lad you met at the bar that you liked.” His voice got softer. “Didn’t we have a lot of fun back then?”

He’d saved her life back then. And he’d played on that ever since. “That’s not what I—what we—need now. We need stability. We need to know what tomorrow brings. A father who shows the hell up.”

“Is that what your other fella does?”

His voice had gone beyond the cool certainty of his first words. Now it was a sliver of ice. Thea took in a breath that made her chest hurt. Sure, she wouldn’t put it past him to be jealous of Liam, and she’d never given him cause for jealousy before, but his voice made her feel that threat again.

She shivered.

When she didn’t answer, he went on. “You know your ginger friend from last night? Seemed pretty surprised to see you with me. You didn’t tell him I was back?”

She tried to recover, to not defend herself. “There’s nothing to tell, Gabe. You left. You aren’t back. Not for me, anyway. I seem to have to remind you of this every time we talk.”

“Well, I sent him packing with a flea in his ear at any rate. He won’t be back.”

“He…” Gabe was probably right. “I… It’s none of your business.”

“It’s my business if he’s in my house pretending to be a father to my kids.”

Again, the bite of hardness that scared her a little. It wasn’t a physical threat. It was the promise, the certainty that he’d continue to do whatever the hell he liked, and Thea would never learn how to stop him.

She couldn’t keep thinking like this. She’d clawed back too much. Setting her jaw, she said, “Do you want to see your children or not?”

He was silent, then said, “All right, T. We’ll do this your way for now. But I’ll tell you, I’m here for you, and I’m not going to give you up to some boring, soft-handed ginger.”

“Oh, quit the jealousy crap,” she snapped. “You gave up all rights to me that first time you skipped out. When I was pregnant. Remember?” He didn’t answer. “Yes, I see you do. So, tomorrow? You’ll take Benji out for dinner?”

“All right.” He sounded sulky, which was more like the Gabe she knew.

“Great.” She hung up. Then she held her hand to her chest, which was fluttering in some strange way as if she’d just avoided being mugged.

♦

She had to finish her class. This was one thought that remained constant, although there were periods in her day when she had trouble summoning the energy to care about school. School meant Liam.

Study group met the next night. She would normally have been happy to see her friends, but today they were merely an intrusion into her life, people in front of whom she would have to appear normal.

So much for that idea. Zahra had no sooner walked in the door than she held Thea by the shoulders and searched her face. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah,” she said, willing herself not to look as wan and tired as she felt. “Just… life.”