Page 96 of Avoidance

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Okay.” I waved to T.J. and closed the office door behind me.

Outside, the setting sun was still warm. May had gone by in the blink of an eye, and the summer was underway. I sat on the curb beside Tanner’s Mustang, closing my eyes and tilting my face towards the sky. Though I had kept busy with work, training, and hanging out with the girls, I could not deny that there was still something missing from my life. Chase’s calls came in less frequently now, but I woke up to the same text each morning: “Have a good day. I love you.” I didn’t know what I would do once those texts stopped. I knew eventually they would.

My training with T.J. was coming to an end. I wanted to get the tattoo as part of my celebration for completing his program. I had not thought about alcohol once since my slip up after meeting with my mother. I was on my way to recovery.

A shadow was now blocking my sun. I opened my eyes to see Tanner. “You ready?” he asked.

“Yup. Everything okay?” I asked, brushing the dirt off of my backside as I stood.

“Yup.”

We buckled our seatbelts, and he backed out of the parking spot. After driving a couple of minutes in silence, Tanner glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” I asked.

“Is there something going on between you and T.J.?”

“What?” I half-shouted. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“I see the way he looks at you. I just can’t figure out if you’re looking at him the same way.”

“First of all, he doesn’t look at me in any way that you’re implying. Secondly, I most definitely am not looking at him like that.” I twisted in my seat to face him. “Is that what that was about back there? Please tell me you did not say something like this to him.”

His eyes remained on the road. “I don’t want him taking advantage of you. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Take advantage of me? Tanner, what the hell? You know T.J. You’re the one who told me about how great he is. He has been helping me. Nothing more.” I looked down at my lap. “You know what I’m going through.”

He nodded sheepishly. “You helped me so much with Charlotte. I want to be able to help you, too.”

“You carried me over your shoulder out of a party when I was drunk, slept in my bathtub to make sure I was okay, and took me to train with T.J. so that I would get sober. You have helped me more than you can possibly imagine.”

“I’ll always look out for you. Even if you never get back together with Chase – which I think you will. My dad saved your life. Helping you makes me feel like I’m helping him, in some weird way.”

I gave his arm a squeeze. “I think about your dad every day.”

“Me, too.”

When I walked into my apartment, I sat on the arm of the couch and stared at my phone. I knew I had to reach out to my mother one last time, but I had been putting it off. It was the final piece of my puzzle – all I had to do was snap it into place. I pressed her name on my screen, and lifted the phone to my ear.

“Hi, Merritt,” she answered quickly.

“So, I’ve had some time to think, and I would like to meet with you one last time.”

“Okay. When are you available?”

“Tomorrow at seven, again, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure. Yes. Seven is good.”

“Good. Bye.”

“Merritt?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for calling.”

“Sure.”