Page 17 of Turning the Tide

I cried too many tears when I dropped Ellie off at school this morning. I knew I would but trust me, you don't exactly know how you're gonna feel until your tiny baby skips through those doors like she doesn't need you anymore.

I pull away from the front of the school, wiping my tears away with a Kleenex, laughing at myself for being so emotional. I don't get emotional. Not anymore.

I've conditioned myself to be strong. To never let anyone see me weak. Being a single mom means you have to persevere, no matter what. Showing weakness isn't an option for me. I want Ellie to know we're okay. Even if we aren't.

I can't help but let my mind stray right back to the look in Jameson's eyes yesterday as he walked out of our house. Maybe I should've never let him inside, then he still wouldn't know about Ellie. I'm not sure yet how bad I messed up by letting him know Ellie is biologically his daughter. I guess we'll find out when everything blows up. I think I always knew it was a ticking time bomb. I was just gullible enough to believe I could avoid it forever.

My parking spot at the high school is closer to the student lot than most of the faculty parking, so when I step out of my little compact Toyota, Carson is walking by.

"Hey, Ms. Mason! How was Ellie this morning?"

I laugh, "She took it a lot better than I did."

"She's going to be fine," He smiles, and we both hear his name being yelled from the entrance by his girlfriend, Avery. I can see his smile begin to fade as he walks her way. The things these kids will endure to remain at the top of the popularity war. Avery knows that Carson is going places, and she has weaseled her way right into his front pocket and manages to get him to do everything she says. I'm not sure why, but I assume there is a reason. Probably sex.

Lexie will argue until she's blue in the face that Carson isn't having sex. The truth is, I don't know if he is. But I do know that he controls everyone in this school, and somehow Avery Sinclair has him wrapped around her little finger. She shows him off like he's her most prized possession, but the way Carson's smiles fade when she's around, I can tell there is more to whatever manipulation is going on there. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

My office is precisely how I left it back in May, minus all of the junk I manage to accumulate somehow. I'm going to start the morning off with individual student meetings. A simple check-in to see how they are after the summer. Obviously, not every guidance counselor does that, but I genuinely want the kids to feel safe here.

Here at Legacy High, it's what one would call a beautiful facade. These kids will do anything to appear perfect. For their parents, for their teachers, for their friends, hell for people they don't even know. It's a lie they're forced to live.

My phone vibrates once on my desk, and the words lighting up the screen send me into panic mode.

Shit. Eric.

"Hello?" I answer, pulling the first few student's files from my filing cabinet.

"How's mama this morning?"

"Ugh, it was so hard. I already want to check in on her."

I hear his chuckle on the other end of the line, "I'll be over after work, say about 6:30. Have a good first day back. Love you, babe."

"Thanks," I whisper, "I will. Love you too."

He hangs up, and guilt creeps its way into my stomach, tying it into knots. Eric will freak out when he finds out that Judson's brother is Ellie's father, and I'm going to have to tell him. Eventually. Especially now that he's going to be around.

A faint knock on my office door pulls my attention away from Eric, "Come on in!"

Judson pushes through the door, closing it quietly behind him, his bright yellow visitor tag perfectly displayed on his suit jacket. School hasn't started yet, so I assume he dropped by here on his way to work. Which is unusual. It's not like him to just drop in. Lexie, yes. You see her lurking around the school all the time, but Carson goes here. She's head of the PTA and a hella-great organizer for events and such. Judson has no reason to be here, so he knows. He definitely knows.

"Hanna," He whispers, taking one of the seats opposite my desk.

"Judson," I return, knitting my eyebrows together before sitting back into my desk chair.

"I guess you know why I'm here," he huffs, clearly irritated.

"Not really," I lie as he picks up a framed picture of Ellie off my desk.

"Why didn't you just tell us the truth about Ellie?"

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know."

My confession sends an unexpected smile to Judson's face.

"Do you seriously think that we didn't know, or at least suspect? You named her Ellison James."

"Well, my dad's name is Elliott, and my mom's name is Madison. That's where Ellison came from, and James, well James came from Jameson."