Page 58 of Turning the Tide
"It's a long story," I counter, the look on Hanna's face twisting me up on the inside. She quickly looks back at her phone, sneaking glances at my arm. Little does she know, that isn't the only tattoo I have that reminds me of her. Most of my upper arm is clouds with a constellation of stars on the backside. Magnolias under the stars, what I always dreamed of.
The turbulence scares Ellie, her grip tightening on my arm.
"It's okay, babe. It's just rough air."
She calms, laying her head on my shoulder, and within five minutes, she's asleep. Hanna's soft voice cuts the silence, a whisper really, "Does it bother you? Flying but not being in charge?"
I laugh, "A little bit. This is like driving, though, not the type of flying I prefer."
"Do you ever get scared?" She asks, tilting her head against the seat, in my direction.
"Sometimes. The conditions can get rough, and when the weather isn't cooperating, we could lose control of the outcome. It's not fun watching one of your brothers lose control of his plane."
My mind shoots back to the time I almost lost my best friend.
"What are the odds?" She blurts, quickly covering her mouth, "Oh my God, that's a terrible thing to ask. I'm sorry," she rambles.
I shake my head, "It's alright. It's a risk every time I go up."
Her sad eyes find mine, "Why do you do it?"
"Because it was the only place I felt closer to you."
Her mouth falls open, "Jameson, I—"
I cut her off, "It's okay. I shouldn't have told you that, but it's the truth. Whenever I'm up there, and things start to go south, I just think of you, and it's like the entire sky opens up. You have always been my clarity."
She doesn't speak, her eyes falling to her lap, picking her fingers nervously. I know she doesn't trust me. She doesn't believe that things could be different. When I know that they would be.
"Ellie is so excited," She rubs our daughter's hair out of her face, changing the subject.
"We're going to have a blast," I agree, staring out the window while the plane starts to descend.
We land in Orlando, and we take a bus to the resort. Ellie and JC laughing and playing the entire way, fighting over what to do first. JC has absolutely no interest in meeting Moana.
Well, neither do I, but I'd dress up as Moana and do the Hula if I knew it would make Ellie happy.
By the time we get to the resort, it's later in the afternoon, but we decide not to waste what's left of the day. We head to the park, and by the time we are twenty feet inside the gate, Ellie has everyone some mouse ears picked out, insisting we all wear them.
Waste of money? Sure.
Do I care? Hell no.
"Daddy, can we go on the mine train? Please, please, please!" Ellie shouts, twirling around in her yellow dress. Belle? I think. I need to brush up on my princesses, especially since I'm a girl dad now.
Judson's attention turns to us as I lift her up into my arms, slinging her onto my shoulders. He adores Ellie as much as I do. I just wish he would've come to me about his suspicions, but I understand why he didn't. It just hurts that I've lost so much time.
Hanna hangs back with Blake, and JC is walking next to Judson, bragging to Ellie about all the rides he can ride that Ellie can't.
"You're Daddy now, huh?" Judson whispers, nudging me with his elbow.
"Yeah, weird, isn't it?"
"No, it's actually perfect. A little like fate."
I sigh, glancing back at Hanna, "Almost."
"Give her time," he smiles, "You got Ellie. Hanna is going to take a little more time to build a relationship with."