Page 10 of Dare To Free Us
But life does not always go the way you want it to. Obviously.
Shura slowly rose from his seat, he was taller than Matteo’s six foot-two by a few inches. They stood staring for a tense moment before Shura backed away and headed for the door, anger pumping off him so thick it made me swallow at the potential harm he could have caused.
His men followed him out and finally I could breathe again.
“Are you ok?” Matteo’s voice drew my gaze up to find heart melting eyes watching me. I’d almost forgotten how deep and dark brown they were.
“I think so,” I said a bit shakily.
Matteo took Shura’s seat and for a long moment we just watched each other. I could see questions swimming around in his head, as his eyes would flash or his lips would pinch. Though he looked calm, the stiffness in his shoulders told a different story.
“Were you really here with him?” Matteo finally asked.
My head shot back. “No. I’d never met him before today. He just came up and took a seat.”
“What did he say? Did he want something?”
I shook my head, dumbfounded. Here the man I’d been dreaming of for over a decade was sitting across form me, the one I’d cried over as I was pulled from his arms and hadn’t seen since. The man I thought about when I touched myself and wouldn’t let another man give me pleasure because if it wasn’t Matteo, it didn’t feel right, and all he wanted to talk about was that asshole Shura.
My heart withered in my chest.
There was no, how have you been? It’s good to see you. How about a simple hi, and you look good? Apparently Matteo had gotten over me long ago and I was just what my father accused me off being that night driving home; a stupid little girl to think a man like Matteo could ever have true feelings for me that would last.
“Arianna?” Matteo pressed.
“He wasn’t specific, except that he was trying to get into business with my father. But I got the feeling he wanted tofuckme,” I snapped.
Heat colored Matteo’s checks as his eyes flashed with anger and a muscle ticked in his jaw. “What?”
“Is that so surprising? I get hit on by men all the time.”
“Did he touch you?” he ground out in a low voice. The anger in his face turned to all out rage and jealousy. I couldn’t understand why.
“Why do you care?” I whispered.
Matteo blinked, then was back to being angry, balling his hands into fists on the table. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Suddenly something heavy pressed on my chest and the only thing I could do was start talking before the pressure crushed me. “It means you haven’t even asked how I’ve been, or expressed one shred of interest in my well being after not seeing me for overfouryears!” It was my turn to be angry. “For me that night was the worst night of my life. Obviously for you it was just… I don’t even know what you would think of it. But obviously it meant nothing to you. So, please spare me the humiliation of having to sit here and talk to you about some prick that wanted to get in my panties while I’m dying inside. I never stopped thinking about you.”
Matteo stared at me with a blank expression.
My eyes grew wide as I realized I’d gone off on a tirade. I shouldn’t have said those things. It was so out of character for me I felt like I’d momentarily suffered an out of body experience. All it probably did was make me look like some stupid, obsessed little girl. Maybe I was. Maybe all along I was just like those creepy, psycho chicks that go crazy at the end of the movie.Fucking pitiful.
I wanted to be sick. Leave. Or just disappear. Except, all I could do was sit there and try not to cry. But I was never very good at that. I never could adopt Becka’s ability to not show my true feelings. I wore my emotions on my sleeves. If something made me want to cry, I usually did. I used to be embarrassed about it, and maybe part of me didn’t like it, but it was me. Becka encouraged me not to hide my tears, she said that when they build up inside of you, it can destroy your ability to feel whole. She would be the one to know.
Two hot tears burned their way down my cheeks. I ducked my head in humiliation. Crying in front of people was one thing. Crying in front of Matteo in that moment, pure hell.
It was quiet for so long I thought he’d gotten up and left. I was embarrassed beyond measure. I couldn’t begin to imagine what Matteo thought of my pathetic state.Poor little Arianna who couldn’t let go.
“That night,” he started slowly, and I cringed.
I waited for the, it was a mistake. Or, it was for the best, it never would have lasted.
“That night you left with my heart, and I haven't felt it beat since. Until I saw you today,” Matteo said in a low voice.
My head shot up as my brain told me I’d imagined his words. I tried to speak but suddenly didn’t know what to say.Idiot.
His eyes hardened as more tears ran down my face. “You are still the only woman I’ve ever wanted.” His fist clenched on the table while looking truly uncomfortable about admitting something so heartfelt.