Page 20 of Jealous Wife

“I have no problem with someone trying to learn a new skill, like meditation,” Ben continued, his voice soft and lilted. “But your heart isn’t in this. Why are you forcing yourself to do something that you already know you don’t like?”

Rollo looked up to the man, peeking at him from behind his thick eyebrows. “How’d you know all this about me?” He asked. “Was it that obvious?”

“A little,” Ben said. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Rollo looked at him, frowning.

Why should I tell this guy anything? Why should I open up to a perfect stranger?

Rollo quickly realized that this was a perfect situation. He could tell this man everything he was going through and not have to worry about being judged or having his friends talking about him behind his back.

“My wife is obsessed with the idea of me sleeping with one of my interns,” Rollo said slowly. “She clearly wants me to do it, and the intern is totally into the idea, too.”

Ben looked at Rollo sternly. “That’syour problem?”

His sarcastic tone shocked Rollo. The gentleness in his voice had vanished.

“That’s not really a problem, is it?” Ben asked, almost sounding snide. “Your wife wants it, your intern wants it. Why don’t you?”

Rollo’s mouth popped open.Was everyone in the world absolutely crazy?

“Because I made vows to my wife,” Rollo stammered. “I made promises to love and cherish her, to be faithful to her.”

Ben cocked his right eyebrow. “If your wife is okay with it, is it really cheating?”

Rollo opened his mouth to reply, but the words got stuck in his throat as his mind analyzed Ben’s words. Was it cheating, if Ava wanted it as much as he did? Or more? Was he breaking his vows if all three parties agreed that this was what they wanted? A troubling storm brewed inside his chest as he tried to make sense of his doubts and fears.

“I just…” Rollo tried to find the words. “I can’t do it. I’m not wired like that.”

Ben’s face changed then, and an easy smile came to his lips. “I think you’d be surprised by what humans are capable of.”

Rollo frowned. Ben wasn’t wrong. Humans were capable of wonderful and awful things simultaneously. The only problem was, he didn’t want to be capable of anything awful.

He had always considered himself to be a good man with sound morals. Why should he break his vows just to please others? Shouldn’t he listen to the voice inside him telling him to do what was right? What if he went through with it and discovered that he’d hurt his wife in the process?

What if Ava was making a big huge mistake? What if fantasy was better than reality? Would their marriage be able to handle it if he did this? Was there any going back from this choice?

“You don’t want to,” Ben said gently.

“No,” Rollo said quickly. “Idowant to. That’s what scares me.”

“You’re afraid that your marriage will fall apart,” Ben surmised. “That you’ll like this intern more than your wife, and everything you know and love about life will suddenly become meaningless?”

Rollo closed his eyes, dropped his head, and nodded. He felt broken, disheartened, like nothing made sense anymore.

“You’ve found yourself in a strange position,” Ben said softly. “Most men would kill for what you have. Your wife wants you to be with someone else. If both women are eager, why are you trying so hard to resist it?”

Rollo opened his mouth to speak, but Ben interrupted.

“I know,” Ben said quickly. “Your vows. But, what does it hurt to try? If you go for it and it doesn’t work out, what’s stopping you from cutting ties with the intern and telling your wife that the non-monogamous lifestyle just isn’t for you?”

Rollo considered his words and tried to sort through his thoughts.

Ben smiled. “I think you’re afraid that you’ll like it,” he said. “I think you’re afraid of following your cock instead of your head.”

Rollo was shocked by how forward this stranger was being. He gulped as he stared into Ben’s deep green eyes. They were unwavering, full of confidence and wisdom.

As he stared at the man, he wondered when he had become so pathetic. Rollo had always been sure of himself and somehow, somewhere along the way, that self-assuredness had vanished.