Page 47 of Desecrated Saints
Can’t outrun your own mind.
Our work isn’t done yet.
“You’re fucking dead,” I whisper.
As you will be too.
This path only ends one way.
You can never live a normal life.
“I’m doing a hell of a lot better than you. The guys got me out. I have a chance with them.”
Still looking for a family, are you?
They’ll die soon enough.
You’re poison. Just ask Vic.
“Enough! Get out of my head!”
Phoenix groans in his sleep, startled by my voice. Crushing the cigarette, I silently curse. He’s spooning Eli from behind as they both sleep on the threadbare mattress that fills the mezzanine level.
Glancing around with my breath held, I find Augustus’s snarky ghost gone. Thank fuck for that. I don’t want the guys to know I’m still hallucinating. They worry enough as it is.
Dressing in a loose, acid-wash t-shirt from my backpack and a pair of old blue jeans, I sneak back down the wobbly stairs. Hudson and Seven are both still out of it, opting to take the two downstairs sofas. I quietly sneak past and slip into the break room.
“Morning, love.”
Nearly jumping out of my skin, I find a bedraggled Kade working on his laptop at a table. He eyes me with his glasses tucked up in his shaggy, overgrown blonde hair, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand.
“You’re awake?”
He shrugs. “Evidently, so are you.”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“More bad dreams? I didn’t hear you.”
I make a non-committal noise, peering into the coffee pot before deciding to brave a cup of sludge. My head feels like it’s ready to explode and the sun isn’t even up. Grabbing a stale granola bar from the cupboard, I pad up to Kade.
His arms wrap around me as I deposit myself in his lap. He smells like the cheap shampoo we found in Sadie’s basic bathroom, complete with a camping shower and cracked mirror. I can’t help but stroke his messy hair. He looks so different from the slick, polished man I once met.
“Have you heard from the girls yet?”
“They’re fine. You didn’t answer my question. Bad dream?”
“Nope,” I mutter. “Not going there.”
Closing his laptop with a sigh, Kade grips my chin. I’m unable to look away from him and the demands brewing in his hazel eyes. Our lips brush in a brief, tender whisper.
“You can talk to me,” he urges. “I know I don’t understand what you went through like Seven or Hudson do, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you. We all are.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Kade kisses the corner of my mouth.
When he pulls away, I gulp down some crappy coffee to buy some time. I’m wrestling with my ingrained need to hide from him. All I’ve done since the day we met is run at full speed, away from intimacy, emotions, everything. I’m not that person anymore, but her claws are still buried deep.