Page 60 of Monster's Obsession

I woke up with a gasp, sweat-drenched, my chest heaving from the dream. I immediately leaned over and vomited over and over again, just as I always did when my mind forced me to relive the torture I'd experienced as a child.

After I’d finished throwing up, I flopped back into my chair, wondering why I’d let myself fall asleep at all.

It was an impossible thing. If I fell asleep, I had nightmares, but the more tired I became, the more likely it was that one of the others would come out to play, more likely thathewould come out to play. And after what he’d done to Blake, I couldn't let that happen. Glancing around the fire in front of me, I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion, wondering for what felt like the millionth time if I was better off throwing myself into the flames and ending the agony once and for all.

What holds you back? he snarked.

I scoffed to myself, becauseheknew.Heknew that I was too weak to do it, too selfish.

I didn't want to go somewhere where she wouldn't be. I thought back to that first night, when Creed had dragged us all along. I hadn’t wanted to go. I had no interest. I had a date with death already planned and ready. What did I care of a little human girl?

But the second I'd seen her, all of me had wanted her. All of me had become completely obsessed. And every time I touched her, the obsession grew even worse. My demise was pushed back night after night, because I wanted to see Blake one more time.

We will have her again,he promised in my head, and I growled out loud, fully aware of how crazy I'd look if someone were to step in.

Then, as if I’d conjured him by my thoughts, Ash opened my door and peered in, a carefully blank look on his face that I knew was intentional. I'm sure I’d been screaming during my dream, and of course, he'd heard me—there wasn't anyone else with as well-developed hearing as Ash.

“You were dreaming again,” he murmured, and I didn't bother answering him.

"Are they getting worse?" he asked, concerned. I waited before opening my mouth, kind of wanting to ignore him until he gave up and left. But then again – he’d never given up on me no matter how badly I’d treated him, no matter how much I’d pushed him away.

He never gave up.

I both hated and loved him for that.

"Maybe a bit worse than usual," I finally admitted.

"Is it because of her?"

I nodded reluctantly. Not that it was her fault, but worrying about my other selves coming out, worrying what they would do to her, worrying thathewould give up our secrets…it was driving me even more mad than I already was.

"What if you just told her?" Ash asked after a pause, his body stiff, in case I decided to lunge at him for that suggestion.

I was tempted to. The idea made me furious. "I've already told you what he did when he got out around her. Why would I ever let that happen again?"

He chewed on his bottom lip. Ash was in his human form, as usual. While the rest of us preferred our monstrous forms, since the moment he'd met Blake, he’d switched to stay with his human face. I knew out of all of us, he was the most worried about what she thought of him. He truly was a monstrous creature, but I'd seen the looks she’d given him when he wasn't staring. And I didn't think our little human minded his monster form at all. But it was kind of nice to see my well-adjusted, cheerful, optimistic brother struggled with something, even though that made me a complete asshole.

"When are you going to make peace withhim?" Ash finally asked.

"Peace with him?" I scoffed, throwing myself out of my chair and lashing my arms up in frustration. "Have you forgotten all the things he’s done when he's taken control? The fights he's gotten into, how he almost got me thrown out of the castle after he fucked Creed’s girlfriend. About how he almost ate Freddy? You want me to try and make peace with him?"

Ash sighed, an edge of exasperation in his breath. "Maybe he only does that because of how much you fight him. He's clearly as obsessed with Blake as you are—"

I scoffed as soon as the sentence came out of his mouth, but he only stared at me knowingly. For someone who couldn't see, it was almost terrifying how much he still managed to do it.

"I'm just saying. Maybe the two of you can come to some sort of truce. You're both interested in Blake. You're both invested in her happiness and her safety. So he goes about it in a rougher way…maybe that’s not bad?"

"He tried to rape her!" I roared, the word sitting in the room with us like an ugly specter.

Hewas suspiciously silent inside of me, seeming to confirm what I’d said.

"Did he, though?" Ash asked softly. "With the way you described it, he may have overstepped some boundaries, but our little angel hasn't shied away from a bit of roughness. It might've scared her in the moment, but if you actually tried to talk to her about it, maybe she would have different thoughts about the situation and what you did."

I was already shaking my head before he finished, thinking of the fear and betrayal on her features when I'd taken back control. There was no part of her that had wanted that.

"What's the plan then?" Ash snapped, anger in his tone for the first time since he’d entered the room. Ash knew what had happened to me. I’d been rescued from the camps and come back to our household a broken shell of the brother I'd been before I'd left. I hadn't spoken for months, but Ash had never given up on me. He’d sat with me in the silence, he'd crawled into bed with me when my nightmares woke him up. Ever since that moment, he’d been the best brother and twin any creature could've asked for. The only other time he’d truly been mad at me was when he'd found a bottle ofshatrain my room five years after my return from the camps, and he'd known I was planning on killing myself.

Ash deserved a better brother…everyone deserved better than me.