Page 11 of Help Me Remember
CHAPTER THREE
Confusion. Desperation. Yearning.
A deep pulse resounded from somewhere, and I twisted and turned to try and find the source. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make sense of anything around me. Colors swirled and flashed, taunting me with the possibility of something meaningful, only to disappear before I could sort through the twisting mess. Occasionally a sound would drift from the chaos, or I would feel the briefest caress of some sensation.
Bright blue circles, close together as though on someone’s face. High, childish laughter and the feeling of my feet thudding hard against a firm floor. Yellow light spilled through a hazy mesh, and the scent of freshly cut grass filled my nostrils. The smell of flowers and fruit drifted by, and I watched as steam wafted before my face, warming it.
I flinched when crimson splattered against a flat surface, and I tasted bile in the back of my throat. Silver glinted in the distance, and I shrank away from it, even as I felt my hand close around a hard object and thrust forward. Soft, muted light played over a shattered surface, and I had to fight the wave of nausea that washed through me.
Nothing made sense, and I still didn’t know what was happening. Each sensation happened without my permission, and I felt a shiver run through me. Each moment was the barest flash of something I couldn’t comprehend, couldn’t take in my hand or begin to understand.
It was sorrow and grief as I felt sharp edges bite into my skin.
It was happiness and hope as I felt a warm pressure wrap around my arm.
It was nervousness and anxiety as bright blue flashed before my eyes.
It was disgust and determination as the acrid smell of sulfur filled my nose.
It was me.
* * *
My eyes snapped open, and I surged upward before I was even aware I was awake. Barely noticing the twinge that shot through my chest, I shoved my hand under my pillow, frantically searching.
After a few seconds, my mind finally caught up with my body, and I stopped my search. Peering down at my hand, I pushed the pillow back and stared at the empty space, wondering what I had been searching for in the first place. My heart was racing, and I’d broken out into a heavy sweat, but there was no reason I could see that would have caused my reaction.
I looked around the room as if it somehow held the answers I sought. Instead, all I found was an empty room, the space under the curtains in the window glowing with orange light from the sun. I couldn’t tell if the sun was going down or coming up, so I swung around to get out of bed.
I was even stiffer than I had been earlier, but I counted myself lucky. My body still ached, but I could feel how much the pain had lessened. Even my head was only a dull throb in the center of my skull, which I thought I could live with. Once my feet hit the floor, I arched my back and pushed my arms behind me. My muscles stretched nicely, and I groaned as I felt them protest when I went too far.
“Dylan?” I heard a voice and turned toward it. I was surprised to find another doorway in the bedroom that I hadn’t noticed. It led to a small bathroom, which had another door that was closed. Light poured across the floor, and I saw a shadow moving.
“Yeah,” I called, clearing my throat roughly when my voice came out thick. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“You decent?”
“I didn’t decide to strip since the last time you saw me, if that’s what you’re asking.”
The door opened, letting in the light from the room behind Eric. “I guess getting some rest didn’t improve your sense of humor.”
“It was supposed to improve how I felt,” I reminded him.
“Well, did it?”
“A little. I don’t feel like a giant, walking bruise.”
“Well, that might be true, but you still look like one.”
I smiled at that. “Which I think I can live with for the time being.”
Eric looked me over and snorted. “You’re also going to need a shower, and let me check you over.”
“God,” I groaned at the thought. “A shower would be…wonderful.”
He chuckled. “How does food sound?”
The mention was all it took for me to realize how hollow I felt in the middle. The distraction of waking abruptly and talking to Eric had delayed it, but now that he’d mentioned a meal, I felt my body calling out desperately for food.