Page 29 of Help Me Remember
The man snorted. “Christ, I’m having one hell of a week. And now I get to go back and tell Gabe you’re still kicking around. At least there’s a good reason they lost to only one guy. Where the hell have you been?”
“Beating your men up in an alley,” I said dryly.
He sighed. “Looks like you’ve gotten a beating of your own since I saw you. But I’m not getting in the way of whatever you and…yours have been up to. I’ve got enough shit on my plate.”
“Probably a good idea,” I said with a shrug, even as I inwardly prayed I was pulling off whatever act I was supposed to be pulling off. I didn’t have the slightest clue what kind of person I was before when this man had known me, and I hoped I didn’t give anything away.
He snorted, waving his men off so they retreated. “Fine, I’ll stay out of your business, and you stay outta mine. I don’t need any more trouble than you and yours have brought already.”
“I’ll do my best,” I said, this time just watching him.
“Hmph, cold bastard,” he muttered, turning away. “Sorry about the door, Eric, but you know how things go. Sometimes a point has to be made.”
“Yeah, sure,” Eric said, his voice faint.
I thought it best to stay where I was, waiting until I heard the door close behind them before I moved into the hallway. It was empty of anyone save for me, and I walked to the door, peering through the peephole to find the hallway outside also empty. I bolted what could be bolted and turned, walking back into the living room.
Eric hadn’t left his spot on the couch, and he was staring intently at the floor, his eyes wide and distant. I hesitated at the sight, suddenly afraid he had been pretending to keep himself in control and was now collapsing under the weight of his own fear.
“Eric?” I asked softly, beginning to crouch to gently reach out and touch his shoulder.
The effect was immediate, and he snapped out of whatever trance he’d been in to jerk away from my touch, his eyes blazing. “Don’t touch me!”
I flinched, taking a step back. “Look, I—”
“No,” he said, standing up and waving a finger in front of him. “I-I don’t want to hear it, okay? The fucking local boss of Los Muertos was just in my apartment and treated you like you were—”
“I saw,” I said quietly, unsure what to say about that.
“And you just—”
“I did what I had to in order to make him go away. I wasn’t expecting that either.”
Eric shook his head. “You have no idea what the Los Muertos are like, do you? Well, you probably have an idea if you can remember what gangs get up to when they’re in charge of an area.”
“I know, at least in the general sense,” I said, though I frowned as I said it because that wasn’t true. Or at least, it didn’t feel entirely true. In fact, the more I heard the name Los Muertos, the more it sounded familiar to me.
“Well, I know in the very specific sense,” Eric snapped, his voice rising several octaves. “I’ve seen what they do to people who get on their bad sides. I’ve treated some of them, and some get shipped off in body bags. I’ve seen how they harass, beat, and torture people because they don’t pay their ‘protection’ fees. I’ve watched the addicts and young dealers they create, and I’ve seen the death they’re willing to hand out to anyone who gets in their way!”
“Eric,” I said, sensing for the first time that I was beginning to lose him.
“No,” Eric said again with a shake of his head. “This is…this is too much for me.”
I bowed my head because what could I say?
“Just…take the couch,” he said, waving at it and walking toward his bedroom. “I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight. And in the morning…I don’t know. We can figure out what to do about you.”
I didn’t need him to say it aloud. I knew it meant he wanted me anywhere but in his apartment. It stung more than I thought possible when he closed the door to the bedroom behind him without looking back, then closed the one leading into the hallway.
I dropped onto the couch, resting my arms on my thighs and staring at the exact spot Eric had been staring at earlier. The entire night began to weigh on me, and I heaved a weary sigh.
I had spent so much time desperately hoping I was not the man I feared I was, and now I had prime proof that everything I’d feared was probably tame compared to reality. In only a few short hours, my good deed had brought reality crashing down around us with the weight of a few dozen semi-truck, and I didn’t know what to do with the information.
It seemed like everything new I learned about the man I had been was destined to make who I was now feel even worse. I had left my friend, kept secrets from him, then all but abandoned him over the years. Then I grew into someone capable and willing to commit acts of great violence. And now I had learned I was apparently part of some bloodthirsty crime cartel.
Whoever I was, I was not the man Eric thought, and I had started to like that version of me.
CHAPTER SIX