Page 118 of A Love Like That

“I’m—” I paused. I couldn’t tell him how I was really feeling, so I settled on, “Jet-lagged.”

Which was only a portion of the truth. I was exhausted—physically and emotionally wrung out. I was still trying to adjust to my new life and job, while also keeping up with the demands of my clients. In addition to Fall River Estates, I was also creating content for a few other small businesses. And struggling with culture shock. But mostly, missing Tristan and the kids.

“Elle…” His unspoken words hung in the air. “The kids miss you.Imiss you.”

I’d longed to hear those words, but they were just that—words. If I was going to survive the next year, if I was going to accomplish the goals I’d set out for myself and actually move forward with my life in a meaningful way, I couldn’t continue trying to straddle two worlds. I couldn’t be living in Japan with my heart back in the AV.

I loved Tristan. And even if he’d loved me back, it wasn’t that simple. I worried how the kids would feel if they knew about us. And how Gloria might retaliate if Tristan’s and my relationship was no longer a secret.

God, I was so sick of secrets.

I deserved more.

But if Tristan had wanted me to stay, if he’d wanted a future together, he would’ve said something. And he hadn’t.

Probably because we both knew it was pointless. Just like it would be pointless to tell him that I missed him. We both knew it couldn’t be anything more. Trying to pretend otherwise would only tarnish the memories of what we’d had.

“Tristan,” I sighed. “What we had was fun. But we agreed it was temporary.”

“That’s all it was to you? Fun?”

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to say the words I knew I had to. “That’s all it can be.”

“Why?”

“You said it yourself—our lives are in different places.” In every sense of the word. “I came to Japan, and I need to focus on myself.”

He glanced away briefly, returning his gaze to me with a hard expression. “If that’s what you want.”

I wanted to scream that was absolutelynotwhat I wanted. But this wasn’t just about me. So, I nodded.

“Daddy!” Maddox yelled.

Tristan sighed. “I have to go.”

“I know.” I forced myself to smile, wishing things were different. Wishing he’d fought me harder on it. “Tell the kids I love them.”

And then I ended the call feeling as if I’d severed more than the phone connection.

TWENTY-NINE

Four months later

I pulled to a stop at the light, glancing over at the empty passenger seat Elle had once occupied. A memory flashed through my mind. The streetlights cast a warm glow on her skin, skin I’d touched every inch of.

I’d leaned over to kiss her as a car pulled up behind us, but I hadn’t cared who saw us. “You’re beautiful.”

“You’re going to get us caught,” she’d whispered, even as she’d nipped at my lips.

“Would that really be so terrible?” I’d asked, feeling reckless. Restless.

Instead of answering, she’d murmured, “Green,” and I could still feel the ghost of a smile on her lips.

But this time, it was Savannah’s voice instead of Elle’s that I heard.

“Dad!” Savannah said from the back seat. “It’s green.”

“Oh. Right.” I shook my head and pressed on the gas. “Thanks, honey.”