Page 124 of A Love Like That

I frowned. “I don’t remember you publishing a story about a widow.”

“I didn’t. I haven’t been able to finish it. Tessa would know how to fix it.” He sliced a hand through the air. “The point is, she insisted on working on it. She told me it was a good distraction. And it was, but I could tell it was also more than that.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“After her diagnosis, she talked a lot about what she would want if you were the main character.” He took a deep breath. “She wanted you to be happy. She wanted you to find love. Find someone who loved you and the kids.”

I swallowed hard, feeling as if he were delivering a message from beyond the grave. Knowing he was right. Tessa had tried to tell me the same, but I’d never wanted to hear those words from her when she was still alive.

But that’s what it came down to. What it always came down to. Tessa was gone, but her wish was for me to live. To love. And I loved Elle.

“I never told you this,” I said. “But thank you for all your support when we were going through everything. You really helped keep her calm. You helped her stay positive.”

While everyone else had helped with the kids or meals, Liam had been Tessa’s support. My support.

“It was my honor.” His eyes were watery as he placed his hand over his heart. “And I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

I hugged him tight, patting his back.

“Also—” He cleared his throat after I released him. “While we’re, um, clearing the air. I’m not sure I ever apologized for my behavior at the funeral. I’m really sorry for my outburst. It was completely inappropriate.”

I chuckled. “You know what? I’m sure she was looking down on us and laughing.”

He smiled. “I’d like to think so.”

“And she would’ve loved the new library.” I’d recently seen the blueprints for the new branch of the library honoring Tessa, and they were perfect.

“I know.” He smiled wistfully. “Though she would’ve hated the attention.”

I laughed. “Very true.”

“I wish she were here to see it,” he said.

I wished she could see it too. Except then I wouldn’t be with Elle.

Sometimes it was such a mindfuck—to wonder if this was how it was always supposed to be. When I thought of Tessa’s death and everything I’d lost, it made zero sense. But when I focused on Elle and everything I’d gained, it seemed more bearable. Like maybe something good could come from it all in the end.

THIRTY

The last of my students had left for the day, and I was tidying my classroom before a few days off. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do with myself. It certainly didn’t feel like Christmas was a few weeks away. It was hot. And even though I no longer felt as lost as I had when I’d first moved here, Japan still didn’t feel like home either.

I was nearly caught up on the work for my content creation clients. Maybe I’d go to the beach. Read a book.

I’d made some friends, but I’d spent a lot of time alone with myself and my thoughts. I was getting better at it—the silence. The stillness. But it was still uncomfortable at times, especially when confronted with difficult truths about myself and my choices.

I’d realized that the past few years, I’d posted online because I told myself I was helping others. But now, it was as if the spell had broken. I’d been lying to myself about the reason for my social media presence. I wasn’t helping people. I was trying to somehow fill the vacuum of my parents’ love and approval by seeking the validation of strangers online.

For a while, Tessa had filled that role. At least when I wasn’t comparing myself to her.

And then I’d done the same thing with Tristan.

Now, I was learning to love myself, even if it felt as if part of my heart was missing.

Every day, I wondered what Tristan and the kids were doing.Howthey were doing. I’d checked in with Maddox and Savannah earlier in the week, but I hadn’t talked to Tristan. I hadn’t talked to him at all the past few months, apart from the occasional quick hello. And even that was painful.

I’d also avoided readingThe Vinesince I’d been gone. I was too afraid of what I’d find. Scared I’d discover a story that Tristan was dating. He was the AV’s hottest bachelor after all. And he was too young, too incredible, to remain alone for long. Though it killed me to think of him with someone else.

It didn’t matter. Itshouldn’tmatter, I reminded myself.