Page 34 of Indescribable
“But dogs like bones, so I thought that was good.”
Coke spews out of Cash’s mouth. “Do not, under any circumstance, refer to a lady, girl, woman, grandma, aunt, any and all of the above and beyond, a dog. They aren’t dogs.”
“Well, duh, I know that. I meant like dogs like bones and would love if I threw one for it so that must be a good thing, right?”
“Okay, I see your logic,” Boone says, “but trust us on this one, okay?”
“Okay, but honestly, Logan is probably smarter about girls than you guys are. You’re all single and pretty old.”
Silence ascends across the table and I blink once, twice, three times. “Did you just call us old? And make fun of us for being single? All in one swift mocking line?”
“Yup,” he says, smirking. I didn’t know twelve year olds knew how to smirk. He shrugs. “Truth hurts sometimes, but I was always taught to be honest.” His eyes twinkle when he looks at the three of us, slack jawed and speechless. He’s so proud of himself. What a little shit.
“Okay, how about this then. Logan might have a lot of girls, but he doesn’t keep them long, yeah? So that tells me he doesn’t know how to treat them. And the first rule of thumb in becoming a man is knowing how to treat and respect people, no matter their gender and age.”
“I’ll give you a point for that one. Anyway, can I finish my story yet?”
Boone gestures for him to continue. “Please do.”
“So I waved at Whitney, right? And she waved back and smiled real pretty. But out of the corner of my eye I saw Zoe and she was smiling, too, and she waved, but it was different, it was like this.” He holds up his hand and wiggles his fingers. “I did it back to her because I didn’t know what else to do but then Liam told me that’s a flirt wave so I quickly put my hand down. I like Zoe fine and all, but honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to settle down with just one girl. I need more time to play the field, ya know?”
More salad goes into his mouth and he crunches away. The three of us are staring at him a little dumbfounded but he seems unbothered by our silence.
Boone tries to get him to get on with the actual story and says, “How about you get to the fight part, Cody? Wrap it up.”
“Dad, a good story has to start with the backstory. They have no idea what’s happening if there’s no lead-in.” He actually rolls his eyes. “Whitney saw that I waved like that to Zoe, because she was watching me, you know?” he sighs. “Always watching me, that one. It’s hard to be so good looking. So yeah, that made her mad. Then, because luck wasn’t on my side, Avery came skipping over to me. She stopped in front of me and guess what she was wearing.” His eyes light up and I know the story is about to get even better. “Just guess.”
“A Volunteers shirt?”
He points to me. “Partly correct.MyVolunteers hoodie. The same one I took off at recess and threw in my locker because it was hot as heck out and then I haven’t been able to find it for a week. She was wearing it.”
“Your… wait a minute. How did she get it?” Cash wants to know.
“Went right into my locker and snatched it like a thief in the night.” His hand gestures as if opening a locker and stealing something. Then he stands up, puts his hands up his shirt, and runs a few feet away before returning. “Like that, I guess. Just stole it straight up!”
“She stole your sweatshirt?”
He nods. “She did. Then she wore it and told everyone Igaveit to her. Like I’devergive anyone my favorite hoodie. You know I wouldn’t, Dad. I have a certain look and everyone knows I’m liketheTennessee Volunteers guy and I’m pretty possessive over my clothes. You told me they’re expensive so I take good care, I promise,” he tells his dad. “So I asked her where she got it and she said from me and I told her I never gave it to her and she said, get this,” he leans into the table again, “she said ‘Sure you did. You took it off that day because you were hot then we were in Social Studies class and I said I was cold and you told me you didn’t understand how I could be cold and you had to put your hoodie in your locker. I got your hoodie so I wouldn’t be cold.’”
He sits back and looks at us, crosses his arms as if to say, ‘can you believe that?’
My mouth opens and closes and opens again.
“That was her reasoning for taking your sweatshirt?”
“That’s what she said. I’m not lying!”
“I know you aren’t, that’s the scary part. So then what happened with the fight?”
“Well, she was wearing my hoodie, and Whitney and Zoe saw her with me and saw the shirt and they came over and asked why she got one of my sweatshirts and they didn’t. It became a whole thing so I said I never gave it to her, she just took it. That didn’t go over well.”
Cash’s lips twitch. “I bet it didn’t.”
“Zoe started to yell at Avery and called her a liar and a stealer, which she is, but she was saying it super loud and mean and I didn’t like it so I stepped between them. Whitney asked why I was defending Avery and I said I wasn’t but I didn’t want them to be mean to each other over a sweatshirt. Seriously, that’s a super dumb reason, right? Especially one that doesn’t even belong to them. If anyone was going to be mad in the situation, it would have been me, but I knew I would get it back so what was the point of being a jerk. Liam was standing there, too, but he was useless. He was just laughing the entire time. I asked him to help and he said he wasn’t going to get in the middle of a cat fight. But there weren’t any cats around.”
“Let me guess, you googled that, too.”
“Darn right, I did. That’s when girls fight. Hey, I guess it isn’t called a threesome fight, huh? Anyway, I told Whitney and Zoe that they needed to calm down.”