Page 97 of Indescribable
“Naomi? Oh, shit. Were you not ready? I thought…”
“No. No. That’s not it. I’m… crap. I can’t believe I’m crying right now.”
“Don’t move. Okay? Stay right here. Let me deal with the condom quick but whatever you do, don’t move. Got it?”
She nods but she’s still crying and I don’t trust her not to get dressed and rush out of her own house right now so I quickly dispose of the condom, wash my hands, and wet a towel for her.
Before I can help her, she grabs it from me and wipes her skin.
Once she’s finished, I climb onto the bed, rolling us together so I can hold her.
“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“You waited.”
“Come again?”
She wipes her tears against the comforter. “You waited. All these years.”
My eyebrows furrow together and she rolls her eyes in frustration that I’m not understanding what she’s talking about.
“Brock. You told me you’ve had feelings for me for over fifteen years.”
“Yeah?”
“So, you waited. What if I never divorced Wyatt? Would you have stayed single forever?”
I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to answer her. Not when we just shared what we shared. If I tell her the truth, that I would have waited because I didn’t think it was fair to another woman to only give her part of my heart, will she think I’m some creep who couldn’t let her go? If I tell her I wouldn’t have waited, will that hurt her? To think that I would have eventually moved on? Does she think I’m some pathetic dork because I harbored unrequited love for her for all these years?
“I want you to be honest with me, Brock. I’m not feeling so good about myself right now…”
“Hold up. What are you talking about? Did I do or say something that hurt you?”
“Of course not. It’s in my head, though. You deserve so much better. I’m broken and a divorcee. Not even that long divorced. My ex-husband is a wreck and I don’t even knowwhoI am. I jumped into this with you so does that mean that I just can’t be alone? Am I some…”
“Stop. Just… stop. Whatever is going on in your head right now, banish it.” I sit up and she follows so I pull her against me, her legs wrapping around my waist. “I don’t give a shit that we jumped into this two months after your divorce. Love doesn’t have a timeline. Fuck yes, you can be alone. But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Youknowwho you are. You do. You’re strong, capable, fierce, beautiful, and one of the best friends, aunties, daughters, and boss bitch of your own kick ass romance books out there.
“Listen to me when I say that the stuff in your head about you being broken and that I deserve better? That’s bullshit. There’s no one better than you, Naomi. No one. You want the truth? I’ve been in love with you for so long that I couldn’t even consider moving forward with another woman. If that makes me pathetic, then that’s what I am. I won’t apologize for loving you. Now or then or forever. Because that’s what my love for you is. It’s the forever kind.”
“I might need you to repeat some of that.”
“Which parts?” I ask, my lips twitching.
“Well, the love part for one. But the rest of the parts might need to be told to me often.”
“I can handle that.” I place my hands on her cheeks and kiss her with all the love that I just confessed to her. “I love you, Naomi. And if you’re not there yet, or if you’re not ready to say it back, I don’t want to hear it. You can give me the words when you’re ready to give them to me. I’m a patient man when it comes to you.”
“You’re a wonderful man when it comes to me.”
“You make it pretty damn easy to be wonderful with.”
“I… I feel them, Brock. You have to know that. But when I say them to you, I want to be sure. Because what we have is too precious to mess up.”
That’s good enough for me. I don’t need to hear the words to know how she feels. I see it in her eyes. Feel it in her kiss and touch. Hear it in her voice.
“I believe we just had our first fight as a couple which means we need to make up.”
“That was a fight?”