Page 68 of The One

Then there were those friends that were married with kids and they didn’t have time. Just like Whitney didn’t either. Though she knew her sister-in-law would make it, but then Trey would know and she wasn’t sure she wanted her brother to be privy to everything.

Next best thing was her mother.

“Me too,” Gillian said. “It was a last minute cancellation so I’m glad you could make it.”

“I get the feeling you want to talk,” her mother said. “What is on your mind?”

“Nothing much,” she said. “I can’t visit with you?”

They waited while their drinks were brought out and then ordered their lunch. Her mother saying, “You can and you used to do it more often. Less when Trey moved in with Whitney, then even less once you started to date Rick.”

She paused, not sure how to take that. “I didn’t realize you were paying attention that closely. Or that I was doing that. I think some of it was a coincidence.”

“I’m not so sure of that,” her mother said.

“Then tell me what you think if you know me so well,” she said. She kept the sarcasm out of her voice even though she felt it.

“I see someone who wanted exactly what your brother has right now. He didn’t plan it and you did. You didn’t get it and you’ve always been somewhat of a planner.”

“Yes to the planning,” she said.

“And wanting what Trey has right now?”

“I don’t think it’s a secret that I thought I’d be married with a kid of my own,” she said.

“No. It’s not. Then I think you started to see yourself as a fill-in mom for Ben and it hurt you that he has Whitney now.”

She felt her eyes fill a little. “Don’t tell Trey. He’d be upset. I had no right to feel that way with Ben.”

“I wouldn’t tell your brother, but he’s not an idiot. He needed the help and you tried to give him his space. He appreciated everything you did for Ben and still does. We can’t always control the things in our lives, Gillian.”

“Trust me, I know,” she said.

“Moving on to Rick. I think now you’re seeing what you thought you’d have with another man and wondering if you might lose it again and trying everything you can not to.”

“Sometimes it’s horrible to be known so well, but you aren’t one hundred percent right.”

“What am I ten percent off on?” her mother asked with a grin.

“I’m not worried about doing something wrong to lose it with Rick. Things are going fast and part of me is worried and the other part loving it. He’s the one moving fast.”

“I can see that,” her mother said. “Between your Christmas gift and the time you spend together. You’re staying at his house alone tomorrow night to watch his puppy. He could have easily had his sister do it.”

“I pointed it out to him. I mean I offered to do it at my place. Then realized it might not be wise, but I would have figured it out. He’s the one who said to stay at his house. This was a month ago. Now it doesn’t seem like a big deal.”

“Because you are there more and more as it is?” her mother asked.

“That,” she said. “And we said we love each other.”

Her mother smiled. “Do you love him?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t feel it, Mom.”

“I know. But I want to make sure you feel it and are not just looking for what you thought you’d have by now and what everyone else around you is getting.”

“It’s not that,” she said. “I feel so much stronger for Rick than I ever did with Mike.”

“Then let him go,” her mother said.