Page 71 of The New Gods

Someone was sobbing, and it took a second to realize the sound came from me. Gripping the desk with both hands, I was barely able to hold myself upright.

I took in a deep breath and held it, willing myself to calm. Releasing the desk, I slid to the floor and dropped my head into my hands.Breathe. Breathe.The thing about losing your shit was that when you tried to get yourself together, it was actually worse than the breakdown.

Holding my breath only made me burst out in ragged, gasping cries.

“Jesus, Leo.” Achilles knelt next to me. In one day, these men had turned my entire life upside down. No longer did I have a comfortable, academic distance from the past. Now I could hear it, smell it. I could feel every single emotion wrapped up in memories that hadn’t dimmed one bit in the thousands of years that had passed.

I pushed my hands against my chest, willing myself to calm. With every bit of self-control I could manage, I steadied my breath. It was shaky at first, and too loud, but eventually, I could see past my knees.

My head hurt, my throat hurt, and my heart hurt. And I wasn’t sure who it hurt for more. Paris and his self-loathing? Hector and his son? Achilles and his guilt?

I didn’t want to see anymore. If I could have pushed all of it back into their heads, I would have.

But I couldn’t, any more than they could.

“Okay,” I murmured, both to myself and to them. “I got this.” Shutting my eyes tight, I counted to five. When it was up, all of this was done.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Each of the five men sat on the floor around me. The space around the desk was tight, and they were knee to knee. Hector watched Achilles, while Paris studied his hands. Pollux and Orestes stared at me, and when I met their gazes, each gave timid smiles.

“Why did you do that?” I asked Achilles.

The big man took in a breath, flicked his head back, and stared at the ceiling for a minute. “I wanted you to know what I’m capable of. I don’t like secrets.”

“So that was a threat?” I asked. Had he shown me that so I knew that if I crossed him, he’d have no problem dragging my body behind the modern-day equivalent of a chariot? That was fucked up. That was soooo fucked up. Except… I had been in his head. When he revealed that memory, he also revealed his fear and pain. And guilt.

Forcing my hands apart, I waved one in the air to dismiss my question. “Never mind. That wasn’t the reason. You just wanted me to see the worst of you, didn’t you?”

Glaring at me, he didn’t answer.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You act like a monster, and then dare people to stick around. Or be your friend, whatever. You don’t have to answer, I know it is.” I wiped my palms over my face and let out a breath. “Phew. Okay.” Using the desk as leverage, I stood and repeated, “Okay. So that’s that. I’m going to compare what I have so far with the shard in the news, and the dimensions I have from the one I found in Turkey. Using a program on my computer, I should be able to calculate how much of the vessel—I mean seal—is left.”

“No,” Hector replied curtly. “You’re done for now. You’ve been traveling all day, and from the way you’re lilting to one side, I don’t believe you’ve eaten. We’ll feed you, and then you’re going to bed. Tomorrow, when you’re well-rested and we’ve had a chance to talk, we’ll make a plan.”

I was already shaking my head, but he dropped his chin and held up one finger. “It’s not worth arguing. This is what we’re going to do. Got it?”

“I agree,” Pollux added. He rested two hands on my shoulders, gently turning me toward the stairs. He nudged me along. “You’re exhausted, and you’d hate to nick the seal because you yawned.”

I was definitely being “handled,” but I kind of liked it.

Besides, Hector made an excellent point. I hadn’t eaten, and I had been traveling all day. The stone wasn’t going anywhere. Tomorrow, I could finish my work.

“Is it safe here?” I asked, as one foot hit the first step.

“Who’s going to break in without us knowing?” Paris asked.

We trooped downstairs with me leading the way.

“I don’t know.” It would be incredibly difficult to sneak past them, so unless there was a super spy? “Maybe a god.”

At that, Paris snorted. “There are no more gods.”

Leo

Iwoke up to the sun blazing into my eyes.

At least, that’s what it felt like. Blinking wearily, I found that it was another rainy day, but I’d fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room, facing the window. Someone had tucked a pillow under my head and a blanket around my shoulders.