Page 4 of Innocent
“No!” she gasps. “It’s a one-time thing. An act that gets you some much needed cash, and gives you the power of choosing how you lose your virginity. I might be on the site next.” We both know that isn’t true. If her father found out she was doing something this crazy, he’d go on a killing spree, then lock Kate in their root cellar. But I don’t have anyone looking out for me like she does. Hell, I think even my mom might think this is empowering somehow. She’s that kind of woman. Though, I’m sure she’d be worried about whether or not the guy is an axe murderer.
“Think of it like selling your hair, or an organ. No one puts limitations on which organs you can sell.”
“Actually, they do. You can’t sell your organs. I think it’s against the law.”
“Well,” she huffs, “I’m sure you can in some places. My point is, you’re not doing anything bad. You’re being proactive. You’re doing what you need to do. You’re going to the gym and you’re having someone else stretch it out a little, so it’s ready for Prince Charming.”
I pause and purse my lips, staring up at the ceiling again without words. Why is her way of convincing me only making me more skeptical?
“What’s up with you?” she continues. “You were so convinced earlier. Now you’re being all wishy-washy again. I thought you didn’t want to be a kid anymore.”
I’m not sure my virginity makes me akid,but it does make me feel like one. Either way, after seeing Huck, I’m confused.
“I probably need sleep.” I manage a fake yawn. “It’s been a long day.”
“Okay! I’ll keep an eye on your numbers until I fall asleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“I have library hours tomorrow. I’ll catch up with you when I get home.” I slap my head. “Nope, not then either. I have the tattoo shop. Maybe I’ll have a second to text.”
“I’ll be around,” she says. “I’ve got your back. Don’t worry so much.”
Mark introduced me to Kate a couple of years back and we hit it off straight away. She’s wild and free like Mark, but there’s something about that personality that draws me in. Maybe it’s because I can live vicariously through it. I can pretend I’m a crazy person who puts their information on the dark web for men to bid on, when in reality I doubt I could ever show up to cash the check—even if it were huge. What I really want is for Huck to see me. Like really see me. Not as a kid, but as an adult, completely unrelated to the girl he’s known for years. I want to meet him again as an alternate, adult version of myself. Maybe losing my virginity will give me that power. The power to look and feel like the woman I’m desperate to be.
The clock ticks on the wall and I close my eyes, letting reality chew at the inside of my stomach. I can think Huck is the most handsome man on Earth. I can love the way his big rough hands feel on my skin. I let him slither through my thoughts with wild abandon, but I know nothing will ever come of it. He’s off limits. He’s the tall, strong, bearded, inked, dark eyed man that I can never have. And that’s a reality I should come to sooner than later.
My eyes close and I try to imagine a different man, different arms, another body against me… but I can’t. All I smell is cedar and pine and all I feel are Huck’s giant hands against my waist. Softly, my clit throbs, and within seconds, I’m sucked back into the fantasy of the two of us together. This time, it’s more intimate and the pictures are like they were when I was younger. I’d come back from a weekend at Mark’s with sexual energy pent up like a wild animal. Then, I’d spend the week reading romance novels and putting his face into every hero I read. At night, I’d touch myself under the sheets to the thought of his low grumble in my ear.
I let my hand slide into my panties and run my middle finger through the silky wet mess I’ve made thinking of Huck.
My eyes close and a shutter of warmth rattles through me as I spin circles on the swollen nub.
No!
I pull my hand from below and tuck the sheet around my body tight, as though I’m a psychiatric patient tied to a gurney.
I’m twenty-four years old. I’m not some dumb kid. I have to make better decisions and the first is going to be not jerking off to thoughts of my best friend’s dad.
Chapter Four
Huck
I spend the night up bidding every fucker on this fucking website. I’m currently the highest bidder at fifteen thousand, but LocknessCock isn’t far behind and pushes me out of the running every few hours.
Who the fuck are these assholes?
“You didn’t kill anyone,” Maddox laughs, as I swing open the shop door. “That’s positive.”
“Not yet,” I groan. “I don’t know how to get to these guys. Addresses are all blacked out. You don’t think they could be people in town, do you?”
“I wouldn’t think folks would be into something like that here, but you never know. I mean, look at you… Mr. Claus. I’m not sure I’d have expected you to be bidding.”
I keep my head down and grumble as I head back toward the printer. He must have seen the bullshit name I gave myself on that website last night. We’re still close enough to Christmas to make Mr. Claus work. “You know why I’m bidding,” I finish, pulling the printed photo from the printer. I have an early afternoon job that’s going to take most of the day. It’s a mural of The Little Mermaid with King Triton, Ursula, and Ariel. The client wants the image finished to Disney standards, which should be interesting. “You know why I’m bidding.”
“And what are you going to do when she finds out?”
“I hadn’t gotten that far. Right now, I’m just trying to keep sicko assholes away.”
“Why don’t you talk to her about it, as a figure of authority? She respects you. You’ve known her since she was a kid. Besides, aren’t you going to run out of money soon? Fifteen grand is a lot to cough up for something you could just talk to her about.”