Page 239 of Hunger

And it makes her more vulnerable, more compliant.

It’s almost impossible to resist pulling the curtain back.

The pleasure I anticipate as she realizes it’s over makes me throb, ache, desperate for satiation… desperate to be there to rescue her. She’ll need it. And she’ll never know who is saving her.

I’ve tried to resist bringing about the moment she realizes it’s not over. Nor will it ever be.

The hunt is just so good.

Dragging it out improves the quality of her fear.

It improves the bite of her pain.

But I can’t wait any longer.

The torment has become too strong.

It’s funny how some people think they can taste the darkness and not go back…

It’s some amusement to them.

This place they can visit for a while whilst the rest of us are forced to live in it.

No light. No respite. No peace.

The privilege of these people, believing they have a right to hope, to peace, when others of us scream and bite in the darkness.

They think they can come and go. Feel smug about being different to the rest of us—not plagued by the misery of our existence.

I feel that it’s my duty to educate those who dare feel hope as to what pain really is.

That’s the only thing that feels sane to me.

I lie back, closing my eyes as I pleasure myself to the thought of her face.

And bring myself to ecstasy as I replay the words of a message I was gifted earlier today:

Don’t forget. We want the bitch to suffer for her crimes. I’m counting on you to deliver pain. Our little secret. It’s only fair that our wildflower learn that the world is full of monsters.

51

Indigo

Istare at the missed calls. Seven in the last twenty-four hours. All from the same private number.

No messages. No voicemails to go with them.

It’s probably nothing but it doesn’t stop my throat from feeling like it’s closing up.

“I still can’t believe I agreed to get driven home like this,” gripes Rami sitting next to me as Stanley drives us back home from Marilla’s after picking us up half an hour ago. “What kind of controlling shit is this?”

“Ignore her!” I shout at Stanley who chuckles good-naturedly.

“I’m on the payroll, ladies, and was bored out of my mind. It’s nice to take a drive sometimes.”

“However did you survive without him?” Rami scoffs, rolling her eyes and making both Stanley and me laugh.

“Ignore her,” I repeat. “She was dunked in eau de cynicism at birth.”