Page 42 of The Wrong Track
“What did you say?” I realized that my body had tensed and I made it relax.
“I told her the same thing that I said to you before, that we broke up for good reasons. Like, yeah, she was childish and manipulative, which I didn’t spell out to her, of course. And I was an idiot in the middle of some kind of breakdown about Haze and losing her. Losing our friendship.”
“Now you’re over that,” I stated, and waited for his response.
He nodded, not arguing that I was wrong. “And it wasn’t like Lulu and I hung out and had fun together, like we talked about anything interesting or important. You know, like how at dinner you and I discussed cleaning the gutters now that it’s spring.”
Yes, I was truly scintillating.
“Lulu and I didn’t talk much at all. All we did was…”
Screw. He didn’t have to say it.
“I don’t even think we know each other very well,” he said. “We were together for months and I never knew her middle name. Yours is Marie,” he pointed out.
“And yours is Gareth. But you two could learn about each other now,” I suggested.
He turned to look at me. “Are you trying to say Lulu and I should get back together? Are you trying to convince me?”
“I don’t know. I just think that if somebody loves you like that, it’s really valuable. It’s rare,” I said. “Like a diamond or something. It’s weird to me that you would be ok with ignoring it.”
“I’m not ignoring it, but I don’t think it’s enough. Her feelings for me aren’t enough to keep a relationship going between us and neither is sex. Hell, I really have grown up,” he said, and he sounded shocked. “Listen to me! I’m talking like Haze.”
“Hazel is your love counselor?”
“She always was, until…”
And he didn’t have to say that, either. She had been, until he’d told Hazel that he loved her and then she’d told him that she loved someone else. That was probably the real reason that he didn’t want Lulu anymore: Hazel. No matter how he’d described it to me before, how he’d only told Hazel that he loved her because he was panicked about losing her friendship and how now, he was glad that she was with John Hatcher—that stuff probably wasn’t really true. Lulu was in love with Tobin, he was in love with Hazel, Hazel was in love with Hatch.
“It’s a damn mess,” I said out loud, and Tobin snorted a laugh.
“Yeah. I guess I need to figure a few things out.”
My mind went to Texas, California, places far away. I needed to figure out a lot of things, too.
Chapter 9
Iwaited, but Hazel’s mom didn’t seem any more ready to start the project, the reason that she was sitting at the kitchen table with me. “Who’s a little peanut?” she asked Ella. “Who’s the sweetest little peanut?”
That was what Tobin called her, too, and that nickname seemed to be sticking. I waited.
“This little piggy…oh, Remy! She smiled at me!” I thought that Monica might start to cry. “Didn’t you, honey? Who’s the best baby in the world?” And Ella smiled again, because she had started to do that a lot, and Monica had to find a tissue to wipe her eyes.
“Ok, ok,” she said after a moment, and between sniffs. “I always made fun of my mom and how she would flip out over Hazel when she was a baby, but now I totally understand. When you’re not the one who’s half-zombie from the lack of sleep and with spit-up in your hair, you really do appreciate the little ones more. This is how being a grandmother will be, I guess.” Her eyes lit up.
“I bet Hazel and Hatch will have a big family,” I encouraged her. “You can see how much they love that dog. But you can practice on Ella, if you want. She doesn’t have a grandma, so…”
If possible, Monica looked even happier. “I would be honored,” she said to me. “I’ll think of a good name she can call me! And it won’t be Miss Monica, and you’re not to call me that either,” she reminded, and I really had tried to stop. Tobin had also informed me that his mom was offended when I called her Miss Charlene, because she didn’t see it as respectful at all. Now I wasn’t calling her anything because I was hiding in the bedroom when she came over.
Tobin was back at work, full-time but not on patrol. I found this harder than I could have imagined. I was glad he wasn’t out yet on the roads, where things could have been dangerous for him. I thought it would be even better if he stayed here, at home with the two of us, which would be the safest thing of all. But he was thrilled to be out of the house, even if it was just to do admin stuff at the station. He was thrilled to be out of the long cast, to be driving, to have moved a big step closer towards his normal life. I just tried not to cry when he left in the mornings, when Ella and I stood in the front window and I waved her hand at him and he blew kisses back.
“So.” Monica opened her laptop and her fingers stretched above the keyboard. “You want to think of a plan! I’m so happy about that. This was how I got started in real estate, you know. I sat down with my friend Evelyn and we typed it all out. Then I felt like I could really do it, like it wasn’t just a silly dream and I was on the right track.”
I nodded. “That’s what I need,” I agreed. “I need to figure out what to do next.”
“Annie Whitaker is very happy with what you’re doing for her,” Monica mentioned, and I nodded again. I did like working for Annie, but it wasn’t sustainable. I couldn’t get enough done only sewing during Ella’s short naps or if she was temporarily happy in a playpen or her bouncy seat. And the guest bedroom wasn’t actually large enough for some of the things Annie wanted, which involved yards and yards of fabric, so much that there was no way I could lay everything out if I still wanted to walk into the room.
“I like working for her a lot. I enjoy sewing and I think her business is interesting. I’d like to learn more about it,” I said.