Page 50 of The Body Checker
“I don’t know what to tell her, Quinn. I get that Daisy needs her mother, but I don’t love her.” His dark eyes meet mine, glisten in the pool lights. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then closes it again.
“I overheard what your mother and father said to you today. I didn’t mean to, but I was headed down the stairs and couldn’t help but hear.”
His hand goes to my thigh and he splays his fingers. “They want me to do the right thing.”
I take his hand in mine, give it a small squeeze. “But is being with Shari the right thing?”
“They seem to think so.”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you find a good nanny, one who can care for Daisy, you guys could co-parent. Share custody.”
He stiffens and takes his hand from mine.
What the hell? Was it something I said?
“She said it’s either the two of them, or neither of them.”
Enraged, I blurt out, “She can’t do that. You’re Daisy’s father, you have every right to see your child. I’m sure your father will take this to court.”
“I’m sure he’ll tell me I need to do the right thing. He’s old school, Quinn. They had me late in life and look at things differently than we do.”
I shake my head, astounded at this turn of events. “If it’s the two of them or neither, why did she just drop Daisy off with you?”
A noise crawls out of his throat. “She wanted us to bond.”
I briefly close my eyes and try to look at this situation from all angles. One thought jumps out at me. “Why now, Jonah? Why four months later?”
“Think about it,” he says, and frowns.
Something niggles at the back of my mind, and I reach for it. “Wait, do you think this is about money? You just had a successful season, and renewed your contract for some serious coin.”
He makes a noise, half laugh, half snort. “That’s right. It’s always about the money, Quinn. Do you think any of these women are with us for anything other than our fame and fortune? No one sees us for who we are. They never want to know the person beneath the jersey. It’s just the way it is.”
I put my hand on his back and lean into him. “I had no idea, Jonah.” I mull that over for a minute. “Is that why you’re so anti-marriage?”
He turns to me, his eyes dark and tortured. A long pause as his eyes search my face, then he says, “I wouldn’t say I was anti-marriage, it was just something I never thought about, something that was a long way off. I guess that could change, it I was with the right woman.”
Oh, God, Quinn. Tell him how you feel.
Take a chance? But what if I make a fool of myself? What if I’m imagining there could be more between us? Imagining I’m the right woman? I open my mouth, but no words come. Where the hell is Ninja Chihuahua when I really need her?
“It’s not my business, Jonah, I get that, but if you marry her, I think you’re going to grow to regret it.” I fold my arms around my body and hug myself. “I know this from experience,” I say softly
His eyes narrow, and he looks at me, searches my face for answers. “What do you mean?”
I exhale a long breath. “Mom never wanted a family. It was Dad. He wanted kids. Mom wanted a career. She ended up having two kids, but in the end, even though she loved us, her first love wasn’t us, so she left.” Tears prick my eyes and I pinch them tight. “Growing up without a mother was hard. I’m not going to lie. Dad sort of shrank into himself. I don’t know what I would have done it I didn’t have Zander.”
He puts his arm around me, drags me to his body. Water ripples around us, and I grow chilly, not just from the air but from my memories.
“I’m sorry, Quinn.”
“I’m just worried about Daisy,” I say. “Your first love is hockey, Jonah. I know you care for that little girl, but what happens in the end? Will you grow to resent Shari and Daisy, and leave?”
“I’m not your mother,” he says, his voice taking on a hard edge.