Page 69 of The Hard Hitter
“Neither do I,” Quinn says quietly.
“Fuck me,” I say, and plant my elbows on the table. I press my palms into my eyes until I see stars. “What the fuck have I done?” My throat gurgles, and I take deep gulping breaths. When it comes right down to it, I’m no better than her other boyfriends, or her ex-fiancé. I blamed her for all of this, yet I was the one who forgot the condom that first time.
Sam is kind, compassionate…a woman who put her darkest secrets as well as her body into my hands. She is a woman to be trusted, one without a secret agenda. She opened herself up to Daisy and me, bringing us both into her childhood home, gifting us with family and friends and allowing us to be a part of something very special. Sam is a woman full of love and devotion, and Daisy and I, for a short time, were lucky enough to be a part of that.
What she isn’t is a woman who ruins relationship.
No, the men in her life do that. They’re responsible.
I’m responsible.
“I totally fucked up,” I murmur around a tongue gone thick.
“Yeah, you did,” Jonah says. “And now it’s time to fix it.”
“I’m sure she hates me. I was an asshole. Fuck, man, the things I said.” I grip my coffee cup. “I even asked her if the baby was mine.”
Jonah cringes, and whispers, “Jesus, that’s bad.”
“You need to talk to her,” Quinn says. “Just like you, she’s hurting, Zander.”
“I never meant to hurt her. I…I love…love her,” I say, tripping on my words as I allow my heart to fill with hope.
“I know.”
“She’s having my baby, Quinn,” I say, as my pulse pounds hard against my throat.
She’s having my baby.
“I love her,” I say, allowing myself to get excited about the future. “I love her so fucking much.”
Quinn grins at me and sits up a little straighter. “I don’t think we’re the ones you should be telling that to.”
“She’d never…believe me. God, I was such a…a fucking prick.” As I stumble over my words again, another thought hits—and I hate myself even more.
Christ, after I’d accused her of horrible things, she fought for her words…not because she was deceiving me or trying to come up with a lie, but because her stutter came back.
She wasn’t hedging at all. I treated her like shit, and her voice faltered because her emotions got the better of her.
“If I were her, I’d never forgive me.”
“You once told me you were a lover not a fighter, remember that?” Jonah asks.
“Yeah,” I say. It was the day I’d told him to stop being an asshole and go fight for Quinn.
“It’s time for you to be a fighter, Zander, and fight for what you want.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as an idea takes shape. “You’re right.” I’m not sure if what I’m about to do will work, but if I have to tie her to the bed and grovel until she accepts my apology and agrees to be mine, then so be it.
21
Sam
What the ever-loving fuck is going on?
I wake to bright sunshine streaming in though the crack in my curtain, but that’s not what’s giving me a pounding headache this early Saturday morning. No, it’s the thunderous noise coming from outside.
Grumbling, because I’d wanted to sleep in after an emotional couple of days, I slide from my bed. My sheets, a tumbled mess from all my tossing and turnings, pool at the foot of my mattress.