Page 55 of The Risk Taker
I clench down on my teeth hard enough to break them. I’m angry that Sara had an affair—with my brother, no less—but angrier that Fallon kept secrets from me. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?” I ask Fallon.
“Jamie,” she says.
“This,” I say and wave my hand back and forth between Fallon and me. “Was some kind of get even scheme?”
Her face goes white, and she takes a wobbly step back. “Do you really think so little of me, Jamie? You think I’d do something like that?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and tear into Fallon. “You told me the accident wasn’t my fault. You asked me to trust you, but you never told me why.”
“The accident wasn’t your fault,” she says, and again with no explanation.
“Someone better tell me what the fuck is going on,” I bark.
“Shut the fuck up, Fallon,” Sara says and I put her behind my back to prevent her from attacking again.
“Sara had an ultrasound appointment,” I begin, going over the events of the day. “I was late, so she asked Ethan. Sara told me herself that if I had been home the accident wouldn’t have happened. How could I not blame myself after that?” My mind races, and when it slows again, I face Sara. “You did have on ultrasound appointment on that Wednesday, right?”
“What…oh…I, um.”
I shake my head as she hedges.
“I think you had the dates mixed up, Jamie,” Fallon says softly. “You admitted to me that you were only half-listening at the time.”
“What were you doing with Ethan? Where were you going?”
“We were just…it was a nice day.” She throws her hands up in the air. “We were going for a drive.”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, unable to process anything that I’m hearing. “You let me believe you had an appointment, and I was late, and that’s why you were with Ethan. All this time, I thought I was responsible. I blamed myself, tortured myself and you let me, to cover up the affair.”
“I can’t remember. It was a traumatic time. We’d just lost our baby. Come on, Jamie. Let’s go inside. I can make this right between us again,” she says, and pushes her body against me, like sex will make this all go away.
“I couldn’t move on.” I fist my hair and tug. “I thought I let you down, and I couldn’t move on, because…because I didn’t want to let anyone else down. You let me believe, let me hurt, just to cover for yourself.”
Sara blinks up at me. “I was going to end it.”
“The baby,” I say, and an anguished cry catches in Fallon’s throat. I turn on her, and her chest rises with a big gulp of air. “Jesus fuck, you knew that too?” Hurt and angry and feeling like I’ve been raked raw inside, I begin to shake all over. “All this time you knew the baby wasn’t mine, and never said a fucking word. Was this some kind of fucked up game you were playing with me, to get back at Sara and Ethan?” She opens her mouth but I’m too fucking furious—betraye
d by everyone, Ethan included—to hear what she has to say. “Who are you?” I ask, and she backs up until she hits the SUV.
“You know who I am,” she says quietly, her voice shaking as hard as her body.
“No, I don’t,” I shoot back.
“I’m sorry, Jamie.”
“Sorry, for what?” I shoot back. “For sleeping with me, for keeping all this from me? Or are you sorry I found out.”
“Sorry you found out,” she whispers, and I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“Jamie, forget about her,” Sara says and fawns all over me. “Let’s go inside. I can make it all up to you.”
Does she really think she can make things better with sex?
“You should go,” I say as my world shatters around me. Again.
Sara gives me a pleading look. “Jamie, wait.”
I turn to Fallon, a new burden heavy on my shoulders. “You should go,” I repeat.