Page 8 of Blush
“That’s because you’ve always been the center of attention, Jack. Always hordes of women around you. It’s been that way since we went through puberty fifteen years ago.”
Amanda’s not wrong. I shot up six inches between seventh and eighth grade. Once my testosterone kicked in, all my sports workouts gave me the physique I still have.
“I don’t know,” Amanda continues. “If I say Iamlooking for something serious, I’m going to scare off half the men.”
“Yeah, the half you don’t want. Look, most guys are on this app for hookups.”
“You really think so?”
“I don’t think so, Mandy. I know so.”
She bites her bottom lip again. “But you’re not on Lustr? How would you know?”
“Because I’m aguy. That’s what guys are looking for. Most of them anyway. They’re all horny, and they’re all looking for a quick fuck.”
She casts her gaze downward.
Crap. I’ve upset her.
“Notallguys, Mandy. I’m sure there are some who are where you are. Who want more than just a quick hookup.”
“Yeah, but I’m not going to find them on this app, am I?”
“You don’t know that. I suppose you start by being honest and then seeing if anyone matches with you.”
She nods and taps a few things into her computer.
“What are you writing?” I ask.
“Just some stuff. What I’m looking for.”
“Good.”
Perhaps she’ll find someone. Someone to fall in love with, to make a life with.
That’s what she wants, and that’s what she deserves.
I try to ignore the lump in my stomach.
Chapter Three
Amanda
I went against Jackson’s advice. I used Mandy as my name instead of Amanda. Apparently, your name and age are the two things you can’t change on Lustr, so if I want to change them, I’ll have to create an entirely new profile.
I went against Jackson’s advice on something else as well.
Yes, I want to find someone long-term, but if Jackson really thinks this app isn’t going to have guys looking for the same, I had to remind myself why I wasreallytaking such a bold step.
To get over Jackson once and for all.
And to do that, I don’t need to fall in love with some forever guy. I just needsomeoneto replace my best friend in my fantasies. To that end, the app will work just as well.
Besides, if I’m eventually going to find a permanent relationship, getting some experience isn’t a bad idea, either. I’m not untried, not in the technical sense, but I may as well be. I lost my virginity in college with a fumbling Tracy Fredrickson, a guy in my freshman psychology class. We weren’t involved, but we got paired on a group project about sexuality. During the investigation phase, we found out we were both virgins, so we decided to remedy the situation. Good deal, right?
Wrong.
The coupling of two virgins is something no one should have to live through. If I had it to do over again, I’d find somebody with a lot of experience and knew what he was doing.