Page 89 of Blush

The blue-gray of her eyes soften then, and I know she won’t push me. Thank God, because I’m not ready to tell her what happened with Blossom. As much as I want Mandy to run from this club, I don’t want her to run fromme.

We’re here now. We’re here because she wants to be, or at least she thinks she wants to be. “What do you want to do?”

There. The ball’s in her court. She has to decide whether she truly wants to stay here.

I expect her to want to leave any minute now.

Instead, she pulls me over to the bar. “Two mineral waters, please,” she says to the bartender on duty.

Good girl. She knows she’s had enough to drink. She knows I’ve had enough to drink.

Our mineral waters slide before us, and I take a long sip.

Damn, I’m dehydrated. I feel like my blood is dried up into powder.

Mandy drinks hers slowly and glances around the club. “Tell me about this place,” she says.

“You know about it. You’ve been here before.”

“I have, but you can tell me anything. I’m bound by my nondisclosure agreement. How long have you been coming here, Jackson?”

“A couple of years.”

“And you said it’s by invitation only?”

“Yeah.”

“Who invited you?”

What she’s really asking is whoever it was, how did they know I’d like this place? She’s asking about me. Why I enjoy this place.

“Does it matter?” I ask.

She takes another sip of her soda water. “No, I guess it really doesn’t.”

“What you’re really asking is why I like to come here.”

“No, I’m not asking that. I think I’ve already figured that out.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Oh, you have?”

“This place is very freeing, Jackson. Everyone here is doing something they want to do without fear of being judged for it.”

I’m taken aback. Wow. She does get it. That’s not all of it, but it’s part of it.

Is my Mandy Cake seriously not so pure and innocent as snow?

“Am I right?”

Part of me wants to take her in my arms, tell her yes, she’s right, and I’m so happy she understands.

Part of me wants to yell at her. Tell her she’s wrong and that she doesn’t belong here. Part of me wants to protect her from this world.

But why would I want to protect her from this world? This is my world. A world I enjoy. It’s part of what makes meme.

Except…Mandy being here…

It led to what happened with Blossom. Led to me losing control, and that can never happen again.