Page 59 of Pocus
“People are not so easily defined, Pocus. As humans, we all have several complicated sides; the good, the damaged, and the pure. We can only become whole by accepting all of those sides. There’s only a thin line between monsters and heroes. And Pocus, you are clearly no monster.”
The muscles around my heart clench and unclench painfully. I swallow down the emotion that rises in my throat and let out a shaky breath.
I didn’t expect such kindness from anyone. I can only hope that the rest of the club is as understanding as Abigail and Graveyard. At this point, I don’t even have the right to expect anything from anyone. I can only hope….
* * *
Pocus
Itake my shame in strides as I look into the faces of the Ruthless Kings in the room. Their faces hold no judgments, just similar apathetic expressions that increase the agitation in the pit of my stomach.
I clear my throat loudly, hanging on to the faint spark of hope that Graveyard lit in my heart the day before.
“I have a sickness called Intermittent Explosive Disorder,” I start solemnly, looking straight into their faces. “I kept it away from you all, and it nearly cost Buffy his life. I understand if you don’t want me as your club’s president anymore. I’ll gladly take the punishment for my sins. I just want you all to know that I’m deeply sorry.”
My words are met with a complete silence that makes my heart sink deeper. I clasp my sweaty palms together as I wait for Seer, who’s been unanimously chosen as the spokesman, to give a verdict.
“Thanks, Prez,” Seer says, finally breaking the deathly silence. “Why do you have to get punished for something you can’t help? You did hide your sickness from us, but we all have something that we want to hide away from the world. We can’t throw stones when we’re all sinners. You are our president, but you’re allowed to be weak. You are allowed to make mistakes, too.”
“And like you’ve done countless times for every one of us in this room, we forgive you.” He looks around the room into the faces of the club members. “Is there anyone who thinks otherwise?”
“You’re right, Seer,” Hemlock says from his place at the back. “What we need is to get that bastard, Anderson, out of the way. And to do that, we need you, Prez. Am I right?”
A chorus of agreement echoes in the room, and at that moment, it feels like a weight has finally been lifted off my chest – a weight I didn’t even know I carried around. I don’t think I can express my gratitude to these men with words. But maybe I can do it by putting Anderson in his place.
I take in a deep breath and let it out in a relieved whoosh. “Is there any update from Knix?”
“Yes, Prez,” Snake replies. “He sent me a coded text last night. He’s very close to something. He says he’ll be in touch.”
“Great,” I say. “Keep me in the loop.”
CHAPTERTWENTY
Pocus
“You are not listening to me, Nesce,” I say with a tired sigh. I pass the phone to my other ear and lower myself onto the bed. We’ve been at this argument for a while when all I want to do is sleep. Evanesce can be persistent when she wants to be... and she chose this particular night to remind me of that fact.
“You can’t come down here, Nesce. I don’t believe that I have to repeat myself.”
“You’re just being overprotective, frère,” she counters. I can almost picture her rolling her eyes. “I can take care of myself. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen in a house filled with alpha males with a variety of guns and psychic abilities? Anderson stands no chance. Besides, I’ll feel safer there, surrounded by my family after the last incident. Please, Pocus.”
“No,” I reply firmly. “You are not coming here until this mess is cleaned up. Do you hear me?”
“I heard he’s threatening to revoke Graveyard’s license and do more harm if I don’t return to New Orleans. What if he really goes through with his threat? You know how much the hospital means to Graveyard.”
“I don’t know how you manage to squeeze information out of my men, but that’s beside the point,” I reply, finally giving in to the urge to roll my eyes. “The point is that all of this is none of your business.”
“I think Anderson will be less cranky if he knows I’m within reach, you know?”
“And what does that make you?” I ask irritably. “Bait? Appeasement to his stupid ego?”
“I didn’t mean that,” Evanesce replies with a frustrated sigh. “What I’m saying is….”
“I don’t want to hear it, Nesce,” I interrupt curtly. I am tired of listening to her unending reasons to defy my orders, and she’ll keep at it if I’m not firm with her. “You will stay put until I say otherwise. I don’t want to hear anything about you returning to New Orleans again.”
“This is unfair!” Evanesce snaps. “I fucking miss Knix! And what? I shouldn’t return to NOLA? I want to be with him. Is that too much to ask?!”
I should have known that this was what all of this was about. I press a thumb over my temple to massage the dull ache that’s beginning to gain strength.