Page 24 of Unforgivable Sins
Oh, fuck, Wendee. You’re so fucking tight.
My thighs clench at the memory of his fingers inside of me. His voice radiates through me. A person can hide a lot of things, but if you’re not careful, if you’re not in complete control, something can give you away.
A look.
A word.
A touch.
A tone.
And his tone of voice, as he got lost in the moment along with me, is enough to give me the confidence I need to get out of this booth and go find him. I’ll make him confront the feelings he’s so desperate to bury. The feeling of his fingers digging into my jaw as he practically growled his warning in my face should be all I need to back the fuck off, but I’m not like most girls. This is the world I’m used to. This cut-throat and dangerous world is what I know.
I may be broken but I’m not stupid. I see all the anger he holds at bay, and the last thing I want is that anger focused on me, but if that’s the emotion he needs to feel in order to let go, then so be it. There’s something in the way he looks at me, the way he’s saved me, that tells me he won’t actually hurt me.
And then there’s the mystery of my panties. I look high and low for them before I leave the booth, but I can’t find them. Hetookmy panties. That’s the nail in the coffin. The last piece of information I need to get my feet moving.
I climb into the elevator and take a guess, hitting the button for the top floor. As the doors close and I begin my ascent, my heart starts to race frantically, and the fear, uncertainty, and excitement all start to swirl together inside of my stomach.
He’s not going to hurt me. He’s not going to hurt me. He’s not going to hurt me. He’s not going to hurt me.
Maybe if I think it enough it will become the truth.
As soon as the doors quietly swish open, I’m met with a mountain of muscle and a cold, dangerous energy that sends a shiver of dread up my spine. There’s a light coming from somewhere behind him, further into the penthouse, but the entry way we’re standing in, is lost to shadows. All I can see is his menacing, and very large, silhouette. His hands are clenched tightly into fists at his side, the same posture I’ve come to know intimately. It’s as if it’s reserved specifically for me.
I tentatively step out of the elevator but don’t make any moves to advance toward him. Not yet.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
Ok, Dee, you can do this. You came here for a reason and now it’s time to walk the walk.“I think you want more than you want to admit.”
He doesn’t respond, just stands like a solid, fearsome statue, if a statue could exude threatening living energy. I take a deep breath and continue, taking a small step towards him. Slow and steady, voice calm and low, as if I’m sneaking up on a vicious bear, trying to see how close I can get, before I ultimately get its attention, and get attacked.
“I see the way you look at me,” I trail my fingertips in the same line that his took. I take another step. “I heard the way your voice betrayed your words as you sank your fingers inside of me.” I move my fingers up my own thigh until my hand disappears under the dress. “I felt the way you touched me, Sinn, and I don’t think you were ready to stop any more than I was.” Another step.
“You have no idea what I want,” his voice is calm, controlled, giving nothing away now.
“Then tell me.”
“I already told you.” His voice is a low, warning growl, “I’m not good, or nice, and nothing you say or do is going to change that.”
“I know,” I say, confidently, though I’m not sure exactly where my confidence is coming from. “I don’t have any fantasies about who youcouldbe. I see exactly who and what you are. I’ve witnessed your cruelty, and how far you’re willing to go firsthand. I have no illusions of saving you or changing you. In fact,” I take another small step and I’m now in his orbit. I’m dizzy with desire, his energy is surrounding me, I can feel it alive on my skin. I want so desperately for him to touch me again. “I’m drawn to you because of all of those things. I want youexactlythe way you are.”
He’s on me in an instant, faster than I can follow with my eyes. One hand is fisting my hair, wrenching my head back, causing me to cry out in shocked pain, as the other hand grips my jaw again. His touch is brutal. There’s nothing soft or delicate this time and, even though this is what I asked for, this is what I knew would happen, I can’t help the small bit of fear that climbs into my throat, making me want to scream for help.
ALIVE.
It makes me feel so fucking alive. My body and mind are awake, living openly and freely in every second I’m in his crushing hold. In his deadly orbit. And I enjoy it way more than I fear it.
“You say you want this but I don’t think you fucking understand. I want to hurt you, Wendee. I want to hear you whimper and scream in pain. I want to seemymarks and bruises on your perfect, delicate skin. I’m a monster, Wendee. The worst fucking kind.”
My chest is heaving, my neck is pulled back at a painful angle, but still, I feel the slickness between my legs. My voice is strained as I manage to whisper, “Show me.”
He growls and releases me so suddenly that I stumble. I manage to right myself and watch as he walks to the end of the entryway and hits the switch, flooding us in a bright, blinding light. I blink, until my eyes adjust, and then my focus is back on the man in the room with me. No, the predator. In his own words, themonster.
His eyes are glued to me, and now, with the light, I can see everything I couldn’t see a minute before. I can see the excitement in his eyes, the anticipation for what’s to come. His eyes take in every inch of my body before he finds my eyes again.
“Do you enjoy dressing in provocative clothing?”