Page 31 of Bonita Brynne
“What about the compound as a whole? Y’know, to live at.” Leave it to me to stumble through the most important discussion of my life.
She peered up at me. “It’s fine, I guess. But after Raymond is found and safe, and Dorian is dealt with, I’m not living here.”
My heart stopped and my throat constricted.
Our eyes were locked. Hers were confident and unyielding. Fuck.
“I only came here to protect you from getting arrested. It wasn’t meant to be forever.”
“Shit, Brynne. Then where will you go? Where will you and my baby live if not in Minnesota with me?”
She turned toward the pond. “I haven’t thought about it. A lot happened in the past week. I wasn’t sure what would happen with us after I found out you lied to me.”
I gritted my teeth. This moment had played out differently in my head this morning in bed.
“I just need time, Joseph.”
“Yeah. Time.”
“My feelings for you haven’t changed.” She caressed my face with her soft hand. “I’m afraid, that’s all.”
“Afraid of what?” I looped my arm around her waist and lifted her onto my lap. I needed her in my space, touching me and breathing the same air.
“Lots of things. Dorian. The MC world you live in. My father. Your father. Our siblings.” She pressed her forehead to mine. “You changing your mind about me.”
The last part sealed it. I would proceed with my question. “Bonita, I love you. I’m not perfect, and I screw up more than I care to admit. But loving you will never change. Do you believe me?”
“I want to, but yesterday…” Her voice trailed.
She didn’t have to finish her thought. I knew she meant what happened with the kittens.
“We’ve been through this. I didn’t kiss them back. I fucked up by not pushing them away. It will never happen again, Bonita.” Last night I had poured my heart out, apologizing and making love to her to prove how much she meant to me. Had it not been enough?
“I know.”
“You do? Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s everything put together. After Raymond is back home and safe, then what? We shack up in this place?” She glanced around the pond and wooded area. “It’s not awful, but I don’t belong here.”
“You belong with me.”
“And that’s why I would stay because you’re here. I would just prefer to be in Montana.”
“Me too, baby.” I hugged her tightly, a little more confident about asking her the one question that would change our lives. To say I was terrified was the understatement of the century.
The day I had let her into my mind and heart had put a target on her back. As my old lady, wife, and mother of my children, nothing could bring me to my knees faster than losing her. Someone only had to take her or gun her down as they had done to my mom, and I’d be done for.
“I wish we could go back.” She kissed my neck.
Maybe someday. “Bonita, take out what’s inside the pocket of my cut.” I didn’t want to take my hands off her. She soothed me and made me feel secure when I touched her.
“Which pocket?”
“Inside pocket.” Before seeing Valerie yesterday, I’d gone upstairs to my old bedroom in the clubhouse. Hidden in my closet was a box filled with pictures and a couple of personal items belonging to my mom, including her wedding ring. My dad had given it to me when I turned eighteen and told me to give it to my one and only. I’d promised I would never fall in love and had told him no woman would be worthy of wearing my mom’s ring.
My Bonita felt around for the small gold band. When she found it, she hesitated.
“Take it out, baby.” I’d put my mom’s ring in my pocket for safekeeping and this moment.