Page 88 of Touch of Hate
No. It has to be me.
I can’t risk him coming here and taking his resentment out on her.
I can’t let him put me in a position where I have to choose between them.
“Where did you go?” She nudges me with her elbow as I wheel the cart away from the register toward the automatic doors.
I hardly remember checking out. I was that distracted. Amazing how much humans are capable of doing while on autopilot. Guilt snakes its way through me. She’s so happy to be with me, and I can’t be bothered to give her my full attention.
“I have a lot on my mind. You know that.” When she frowns, I silently curse myself. She’s the last person I want to alienate. I continue, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just… stressed.”
Stressed doesn’t even begin to cover what I am, but I can’t bear the thought of burdening her with my problems.
“It’s okay.”
But it isn’t. It’s as far from okay as possible. I want to punch myself in the face for being such an asshole.
At times like this, I wish River had never found me.
As much as I want Rebecca to suffer—and to keep other gullible people from suffering the way my family did—I can’t pretend my entire life hasn’t suffered as a result of our shared obsession.
Now, I’m causing my angel to suffer.
There will be casualties.
That’s what he told me, but I never intended for Scarlet to become one.
Once the bags are in the Jeep, I take her by the hips and pull her in. She stares up at me, her baby blues full of love and trust. She’ll never understand how desperately I cling to that now when I need her more than ever.
“There’s something else we have to do today.” Fuck me, this is hard. I can barely put the words together, dreading the moment the light drains from her eyes when she realizes the turn this trip is about to take.
“What is it?” she asks in her sweet voice, driving the knife deeper into my chest.
“You trust me, right?”
There it is. The bit of doubt that dims the light, like I knew it would. “I do.”
“Good.” I kiss the tip of her nose before leading her to the passenger door before I do something stupid like change my mind. “Then you’ll have to trust that what we’re going to do needs to be done.”
22
SCARLET
My leg bounces anxiously even as I try to ignore the dreadful tension tightening in my gut. We’re not heading back to the cabin.
No, Ren drove us the rest of the way through town and continued on in the opposite direction, farther into the middle of what looks like nowhere.
The fact that only he knows where we’re going sends a shudder down my spine. At least, I hope he knows, or we’re screwed.
Nothing gives me any hint that we’re lost.
It’s obviously about his past. I know better than to ask for details. If he hasn’t already offered up the information without being asked, he’s not in any mood to share.
It was one thing to get him mad back at the cabin, where there was at least a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on if he lost his temper.
What hope do I have if he loses it on me now?
My stomach flips at the thought. I cross my arms over my midsection like that will help keep me from trembling.