Page 34 of His Secret Santa

Her two friends approached and joined in, insisting he come to the party.

“You have to,” Tonya smiled big. “I bet you’ve never been to a party like this before, have you?”

“I bet you’ve never been to any party, huh?” Troy grinned, his heavy eyelids and slightly slurred words betraying his drunkenness.

“No…” Holden mumbled with a tremor. He and Jamie always seemed to have more fun partying amongst themselves.

“Didn’t think so.” Troy took hold of Holden, wrapping a strong arm around his neck in a friendly manner. His grip was like a vice and Holden couldn’t break free. “Gotta pop your party cherry before you graduate.” He howled and thrust his beer into the air—and dragged Holden across the street to the party house.

• • •

Lincoln knew he should return to the party. He was the host; this was his birthday… but he hadn’t wanted the party in the first place. And the will to rejoin his friends was weak.

My friends.

Were they really his friends? Would they still have his back if they knew the truth? Some of them, maybe. A big maybe. Others… no fucking way. Troy would turn on him in a heartbeat. Mckenna and her bitch squad—without a doubt. Probably most of the football team.

He had hoped to skate through the remaining school year without the truth coming out, but now things felt precarious. The fact that he could no longer fake a fuck session with McKenna was a huge red flag that things were coming apart. She would screw someone else tonight—probably Troy—but she would be back tomorrow, trying to make up. No way in hell she’d give up the Pratt family fortune that easily. But it didn’t matter, he and the cheerleader were over.

A heavy sigh escaped him as he stretched out on the bed. His dad would lose his shit about McKenna, but that didn’t matter either. He wasn’t going to allow his dad, of all people, to dictate who he dated and definitely not who he married.

Lincoln already had someone in mind… if he hadn’t fucked things up too bad to fix.

It’ll be fine. You’ll make up for it. Nothing is ruined.

Like everything else, that hope felt precarious. Still, he clung to it and believed in it.

Lincoln crawled off the bed and walked into the bathroom. He stared at his half-naked reflection. “Just a few more days,” he whispered. “And you’ll set everything right.”

His chin sank slowly to his chest and tears filled his eyes.

“I wish you were here, big brother.” His quiet voice quaked. “I need your advice. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. What if I can’t make it right?”

Lincoln raised his head and cleared his throat. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see what everyone else saw; Mr. Popular, Mr. Bigshot, handsome, confident all-star. He saw something else… someone in hiding… afraid to be true to himself… and others.

“Maybe I’m just a coward, Sam,” he whispered, his throat tight. “You weren’t afraid of anything. If it were you… you wouldn’t have hidden away.”

Sam was the only one who knew the truth and he hadn’t judged Lincoln for keeping quiet, hadn’t pushed him to do anything but what he was comfortable with. Still, he felt like a coward. And never more so… than yesterday.

Lincoln pressed his palm to his heart. “I miss you, Sam.” He swallowed thickly. “You’re the only one who gave a damn about me.” His chin trembled. “It’s been so fucking hard without you.” I feel so fucking alone.

Except that night…

Lincoln let out a shaky breath and returned to the bedroom. He thought about rejoining the party, then lay back down instead.

• • •

“Please, I-I’d rather just go.” Holden began feeling lightheaded as Troy hauled him inside the house, plowing his way through the guests. McKenna and Tonya followed close behind, hooting and hollering.

“No, man!” Troy grinned. “We’re having a blast! Oh! You gotta try this!” He directed Holden to a bunch of guys taking turn guzzling beer through a funnel. “New guy here!” he shouted. “First time newbie!”

The other guys howled, and hands grabbed at Holden, driving him to his knees. When he opened his mouth to protest, the tip of the funnel shoved in, then beer flooded his mouth and throat. Holden managed to swallow a couple of times before he gagged on the beer.

Troy and the others laughed and whooped. Holden jerked away and fell forward on his hands, coughing and choking, eyes watering and beer spilling out of his mouth.

“No worries, bro.” Troy grinned. “It takes some practice. Go again.”

“No…” Holden coughed hard and crawled to his feet, his shirt drenched in beer. “I… I want to go.”