Page 53 of His Secret Santa

Sitting next to Holden now, as his best friend sobbed his heart out, some of that anger rekindled. Jamie stifled it, though, certain that Holden’s anguish of heart wasn’t a direct result of anything Lincoln had said or done tonight, but a culmination of everything coming down on him at once.

Jamie’s former advice that Holden forget about the quarterback and move on to better things… no longer held merit. Maybe moving on wasn’t the best option for his friend. But that wasn’t his decision.

Only Holden could make that call.

• • •

Lincoln sank into the plush chair and dropped his head into his hands.

I don’t want you anymore.

The single declaration tore a path through Lincoln’s heart, leaving wide-open wounds bleeding out in its wake.

When you like someone… you don’t look the other way while your friends bully and humiliate them.

Why had he let it happen? His former reasons didn’t make sense now. They should have never made sense. How could you do that to him? How could let them do that to him?

His head sank deeper into his arms as his hands slid up over his hair and he cried. “You don’t deserve him,” he sobbed against his arms. “You never deserved him.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Lincoln raised his head, face streaked with tears. Angel, one of the young men he’d met since coming to work at the club, stood at the door. He’d liked Angel from the moment they were introduced. The young man was maybe a year older than Lincoln, two at the most, but something in his clear eyes reflected wisdom beyond his years.

“I ruined everything,” Lincoln whispered with a sob. “I hurt him and… and he doesn’t want me anymore.”

Angel walked over and sat on the chair nearest him. “I know it feels that way right now,” he said softly, “but if he has true feelings for you… it can be fixed.”

“It can’t.” Lincoln wiped his eyes as they refilled. “I hurt him too bad. I-I let others hurt him and I didn’t stop them.” He hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in his heart intensifying. “Because I was too fucking scared for myself.”

Angel reached out and grasped his hand. “As someone who’s been in Holden’s place, I can tell you… all hope is not lost.”

Clearing his throat, Lincoln wiped his eyes again and looked at Angel. “Someone… hurt you?”

“Badly,” Angel whispered.

“And you… you forgave them?”

“I did.”

Lowering his eyes to the floor, Lincoln asked, “Did they look the other way while others hurt you?”

Angel was quiet a moment before replying with a haunted tone, “Worse than that.”

“Who was it?”

“My husband,” Angel murmured with deep affection for his spouse.

Lincoln looked up, startled. “Dane?” Angel’s husband was a standup guy—the best of the best. He practically worshipped Angel. Lincoln couldn’t imagine him ever allowing anyone to hurt Angel without tearing their heads off.

“Yes,” Angel whispered. “We went through hell… the real hell. We almost didn’t make it, but our love was true, and it… saved us.” Tears formed. “Believe me, if we could survive our trials and heal from it… you and Holden can as well.” He squeezed Lincoln’s hand with assurance and affection. “I am sure of it.”

Lincoln wanted to believe him, but Holden’s final words rang in his head… and echoed through his heart. “How?” He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “He walked away. He doesn’t want to talk to me or listen to what I have to say. And why should he?”

“He will come around… if he truly cares for you.”

“I don’t know if he does… anymore.”

“His friend Jamie believes his feelings for you are real.”