Page 56 of Sinful Negotiations
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“You can open your eyes, Tessa. Your vitals are good, and your lung is healing fine. It’s just us now.”
Tessa lifted her eyes to find Lexxa scrolling through her phone and sipping her coffee. She couldn’t face Alex, or Aidan, or whoever he was, but she could face Lexxa. “He’ll never understand.”
Lexxa slid her phone into her pocket. “You’d be surprised. He’s seen a lot, experienced a lot, and knows a lot. He’s one of our best. Why don’t you tell me what this is really about?”
She groaned as her eyes lifted to the ceiling tiles. “I’m so embarrassed. There was a time when, well, when…”
“You were attracted to Marco?”
Tessa covered her eyes with both hands. “I always wanted Alex, even said it, but…”
“You’re human, Tessa, and you were alone. Marco was particularly good at getting what he wanted. He was an attractive man even if a criminal.”
“What do I do with these feelings, Lexxa? The guilt is eating me alive. Everything I know, and everyone I knew was a lie.”
“Did you have sex with Marco?”
“No, but I was attracted to him. He forced me to kiss him and snuck in my room one night when I was asleep. I was dreaming of Alex and woke with Marco between my legs. I orgasmed, Lexxa. How can I ever look at Alex without guilt again.”
“That’s rape, Tessa. It wasn’t your fault. It was a physical response to an action you didn’t consent to. He’s dead. How does that make you feel?”
“Numb. Honestly, I don’t feel anything. Is that wrong?”
Lexxa leaned forward in her chair. “The bottom line is you were a hostage being reprogrammed to see things differently. He took everything you knew and threw it away only to replace it with his version of the truth. You didn’t do anything wrong, and what you felt, or feel is normal. He made you reliant on him for everything, even emotion. Stockholm syndrome is what it’s called.”
Tessa glanced at woman she once called an angel at her worst. “The story you told me was true. Am I right?”
“Yes, it’s true. That man was my first and only husband. I was in college when those things happened. There was a time when I even thought it was normal.”
“How did you cope?”
“A lot of counseling, and I took charge of every aspect of my life, including what I’d allowed him to make me think. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.”
“How can I face Alex? It is Alex, right?”
“Yes, Alex. Aidan is his annoying twin. You can do whatever you want, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You don’t owe anyone anything. Your choices, your decisions, your life. Do what you need to do.”
“Would it be wrong to ask for time for myself. I’m not ready to face him. Men have controlled my life for the last year, and I’m sick of it. I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you help me? I don’t even have a home now.”
“You have the house your aunt and uncle occupied. It wasn’t seized since it’s in your name.”
Tessa crossed her arms over her stomach and stared at the ceiling tiles. “I don’t want the house. There are too many bad memories there. Besides a few mementos, there’s nothing there for me now. I think I’ll sell it and donate everything inside to charity.”
“Bold move,” Lexxa quipped. “I think it’s a clever idea to let all the bad go. Many people can’t afford the luxury.”
“That leaves me with nothing and homeless though.”
Lexxa grinned from ear to ear. “Not so fast. You have a lot of money to purchase whatever you want, wherever you want.”
“I do? Right. My grandparents. I didn’t think it was true because Marco told me.”
“Yes. Your grandparents left you wealthy. I’ll fill you in on all the details later. Ready to spend a little?”
A lighthearted feeling overcame her for the first time in a long time, and it was because of Lexxa. “Thank you. I don’t know that I’ve said it. You really are an angel.”
Lexxa chuckled. “Hold that thought. So, anywhere in particular you want to live?”