Page 10 of One Cut Deeper
Can I give you a blow job before you go? Would it be too much to ask if I could sleep in your bed while you’re gone? Naked? So that as soon as you’re home…
As he leads me toward the rear of the house, I settle on asking about the trip instead of anything too personal. Yet. “Where are you going?”
“I’m flying to New York.”
“Friend or business?”
“Both, this time.” He answers my questions readily enough, but he certainly doesn’t offer more concrete information than exactly what I asked. Business, great, but what kind of business? Why now, so close to the holidays?
It’s a game, baiting me to push him as much as he wants to push me. It tells me a lot about his personality, as my willingness to play with Sheba outside in the cold told him I’d do whatever he orders without question. He wants my questions. He wants me to be clever and inquisitive, unafraid to challenge him to find out what I want to know.
“Bathroom, my office, guest room.” He points to each door and then across the hall. “My bedroom. There’s a bathroom attached to the master suite too. Make yourself at home.”
He doesn’t explicitly tell me to stay out of any room, not even his office.
“Call me for any reason, day or night, good or bad. Send me a text when you get the chance so I have your number too.”
I’m not waiting on chances. I pull my phone out and send the text to him while he watches. “When will you be home?”
“Should be before 5:00 p.m. tomorrow, although if the airport traffic is heavy, it might take me longer.”
It seems like years and years away. I try not to let my misery show, but now that I let him in, I suck at hiding.
He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles again. “Think about what you really want. Make sure you’re comfortable with me. If you need more time, I understand. I’ve waited this long for you, Ranay. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
“I don’t want to wait another minute. I’ve dreamed about you for so long…”
His eyes smoke with heat but he doesn’t make any other advance. “And I can’t wait to make sure you live out every single one of those dreams.”
“Can I live out the one I had in the office today before you leave?”
Shaking his head, he goes into his bedroom to fetch his suitcase off the bed. I wait at the door, still too shy to push my way into his private domain, though I greedily look around the room. With white linens and soft green walls, the room has a hotel zen feel. I can’t help but check out the large bed and the possible bondage prospects. A lot of nice bed frames aren’t too conducive for bondage. If he has a smooth sleigh bed, that’ll give me the hint he isn’t into tying his sub up.
I hide a smile at the massive four posters. It even has a canopy. Nice. I wonder if it’s strong enough for him to string me up so I’ll dangle above the mattress.
“I promised I wouldn’t take advantage of you, and I won’t. That means no graphic displays of affection—public or otherwise—until I get back. If that’s what you still want.”
“As soon as you walk in the door, I’m going to unzip your pants.”
I hesitate, a little shocked the words roll off my tongue so easily. I might have overstepped my bounds. I’m not sure how far he’s willing to take these games yet. How much does he want me to push him? Could I always speak freely and be as bratty as I want? Or would he tire of babysitting me?
He quirks his lips and brushes his fingers over my mouth once again. “If that’s the way you wish to say ‘I missed you,’ then be my guest. Do you have any plans tomorrow evening?”
It doesn’t matter if I do, because I’m wiping my calendar forever if that means I end up in his bed. “Not until Christmas Day with my family. Maybe some last-minute shopping tomorrow. Will it be okay if I leave for a few hours?”
“Of course. You don’t have to stay here with Sheba every minute. She’ll be fine for a couple of hours alone. I just don’t like to leave her all night and all day without some company. Now I really have to go. Come here, kitten.”
I practically throw myself into his arms, tears burning my eyes at the endearment. I want to belong to him so badly it scares me. What if he’s wrong and he can’t deal with me? What if I’m not over the last breakup and I fall apart all over again? What if he isn’t the One? Can I find the will to go on without him after learning how he sounds when he comes?
He squeezes me hard, as though he thinks he can silence all my anxieties with a hug. “My home is your home. I’ll see you in less than twenty-four hours. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I don’t get a kiss, but he does press his mouth to my ear and whispers one last naughty bit to tide me over until he comes home. “See how many toys you can find. If you’re very good, I’ll use them all.”
4
Ijerk awake, heart pounding. For a moment, I don’t remember where I am.