Page 115 of Craving Paradise
Lauren:Probably because Alistair truly loves her and spent their time apart waiting for her.
Jasper:No, he fucking didn’t. He fucked his way around London just as much as she did on the island.
Lauren:There you go calling her a whore again. Guess that makes me one too.
Jasper:That’s not at all what I meant.
Lauren:Yes, it is. You can’t get over the fact that fucking people is my job. You can’t possibly have a whore for a wife or let a whore be the mother of your children. I’m not a whore when I fuck you for a paycheck.
Jasper:How the hell has this turned so left suddenly.
Lauren:Probably because your prejudice is showing, that’s why. I’m happy for our friends. As far as you and I are concerned, I wish you well.
And with that, I turn my phone off, throw it to the side, and cry into my pillow as my heart breaks all over again.
34
JASPER
“Fuck!” I curse as I throw my phone across the room after that conversation.
“Jasper?” Freya’s voice calls out to me as she walks in through the front door. She’s back from LA where she’s been spending most of her time since my sister is loved up with an American over there.
I turn around and stare at my cousin staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind. I don’t even think, walk right over to her, and pull her into a tight hug.
“Oh,” she says, surprised by my affection but hugs me back tightly.
I needed this.
“What’s going on?” she asks, stepping out of my embrace.
“Nothing, just happy to see you back from LA. Please don’t tell me you’re now a vegan or something equally as Hollywood?”
Freya chuckles. “And give up a Sunday roast? Never. I need a break from all that perfection and sun. Who knew the sun was that fucking bright? But I’m happy to see you, too, even though I walked in on your throwing your phone across the room.” She raises a brow at me.
Shit, she saw that. Do I tell her? You can’t talk to Alistair since he’s on an island, Alex is loved up with Ivy, and Daniel is working on exhibitions and art stuff.
“Maybe we should grab a drink for this.”
“Is it that bad?” Freya asks.
I nod, head to the kitchen, and pull out a bottle of her favorite champagne and then a tequila bottle. I pour us both a shot, we throw it back, I pour another, and throw it back while she stares at me bewildered by my actions. I pop the champagne and pour us a glass before moving into the living room.
I tell Freya everything. Fuck The Paradise Club rules, I need to tell someone before I explode. I tell her about meeting Lauren for the first time then running into her in Ibiza. Then again on our dates and at the charity event. I tell her about our charity date and how we loved eating burgers and drinking beers. Then I explain how I realized I’d fallen in love with her, told Lauren, and she rejected me, choosing her best friend over loving me. I tell her how she disappeared after her friend’s date with Alistair, but she showed up at my father’s funeral. I tell her about the blowup I had in the cemetery with her, and it was the last time I’d spoken to her since today when I found out she’s been on the fucking island this entire time. I tell her Alistair had just found Elle, and he sounds happy, and I think he’s going to ask her to come back to London. Then I show Freya my text blowup with Lauren which caused me to throw my phone across the room. I also tell her about my therapy sessions and how it’s helped me deal with my fear of commitment and the way I use sex to keep my distance from people.
“Wow. This is a lot,” Freya says as she finishes the last of the champagne bottle. “I’m sorry you’ve been going through all this by yourself.”
“I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“You can talk to me, Jay, no matter what. I will never judge you. We’re family.” She reaches out and pats my hand.
“I know, but I didn’t know how.”
“I’m glad you have now,” she says, giving me a small smile. “I guess the first thing is, do you still love her?”
“Lauren hates me.”
“That’s not what I asked, Jay. Do you love her? Forget all the other bullshit. Do you love her? If she came back to London tomorrow, would you want to start again?” Freya asks.