Page 118 of Craving Paradise

But to be fair, listening to them drunkenly having a heart-to-heart conversation about me while I’m on the phone did hit me in the feels a little. Then my heart became sad when Jasper told Freya he deserved to be alone, and he thinks me not loving him is his penance for being what he calls a fuck boy. Is that my penance too? Am I unable to be with him because I’ve whored myself? Not going to lie that drunken conversation gave me a lot to think about. What I need to do is call Jasper and sort it all out once and for all.

I wait until the time is right and call his number.

“Hello,” he answers his phone hesitantly.

“Guess you’re feeling that hangover then?” I try and hide my chuckle.

“You could say that,” he answers tenderly.

“You and Freya seemed quite drunk last night.”

“Don’t remind me. I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

I giggle at his apology. “Ah, so do you remember what happened last night?

“Unfortunately, yes,” he grumbles.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I think last night speaks for itself.”

“You think we don’t have anything to talk about?”

“Yes, we have lots to talk about, but I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“You think it will turn into a fight?”

“I always seem to put my foot in it when it comes to you. And I’m hungover and not thinking straight, so I’ll probably say something stupid without thinking, and then you will be gone again.”

“I promise if you say something stupid, I won’t go.”

“It could be really stupid. I don’t know yet.” He chuckles.

“How about I start first then?”

“Sounds fair.”

Where the hell do I start? So much has happened between us. Keep it simple, Lauren. That might be a good place to start.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been better. My head hurts, I did one too many tequila shots last night. I drank too much champagne, thanks to Freya. I was trying to cheer her up as I think something has happened between her and some guy in LA.”

This was not at all where I thought this conversation would be going.

“Honestly, she hasn’t said anything to me about a guy. But I can find out for you, see if everything is okay. She will probably chew me out for breaking your heart like she did last night if I call her.”

“Freya’s family, and she thought she was doing what was best for me. Apparently, she thinks we’re made for each other.”

“I used to think we were too.”

Silence falls between us.

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I let my jealousy and insecurities take over. I hated that Ali was over there reconnecting with Elle and here I am stuck at home wishing I was halfway across the world with you.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I know my words and actions over these past months say otherwise, but until yesterday when I found out you were in the Caribbean, I had given up hope. Not like I’m assuming there’s hope or anything.”